Trinity Goodrich Blog

Weed

2005-11-09T13:30:00.000-08:00

Weed is a substance that gives you a feeling of (i dont know how to explain so i'll just say) HIGH. When you reach this high you will feel like you are on top of the world you will feel energized and strong. Some side effects of weed is the changing of colour in the eyes and teeth an the smelling of your breath. Never smoke cigarettes that is something that will kill.(a known fact cigarette has thousands more harmful chemicals in it that weed, just to let you know weed only has 400. So all i'm saying is to blaze up when ever you feel like but if you dont want to get caught by a family member when you know that you should'nt be blazin up. Wash you face brush you teeth listorine to hide the after effects. Comments by writer: Smoke weed and fly, Smoke cigarette and dieand never mix it thats deadly too NO CigaWeed. Writen By A Fellow Blazer of Weed Clayton G-Money Elliott

Plane Spotting!

2005-11-09T08:37:00.000-08:00

It sounds like atake on Train Spotting, one of my all time fave books n movies but this was fun. For starters,NO,its not a book or a movie but very simply the exact meaning of the words.Planes and spotting them. Yesterday after 4 whole days of being cooped up at home trying to study (I was never very good at that) It was Thursday night. Now Thursday night is a stress buster for mr because of a guy called Mark Rego who conducts a pub Quiz called "Booze& Brains" in a pub (Duh!) called the New Night Watchman. The rules of the quiz are pretty simple enough, U win the quiz and ur booze bill is on the house, Well we have been winning it regularly for some time till we hit a rough patch in between. For the past 2 weeks though we have been in top form and the bill came to some 30 bucks per head. Pretty cheap on the whole. Since the cops are hellbent on closing all night spots at 2330 hrs (sad but true) I then headed to drop a friend off at his house. I did get an invite from another friend whose folks are out of town for the weekend to crash at his place for more booze and no brains. Not one to refuse an offer like that, I did exactly that and landed at his his place at Midnight. There were a couple of guys there who had and supplied me as well with Bacardi. I had enough to now officially put me off Bacardi as well. Bat Shit not withstanding it is too sweet for me.I think my Scotch ,neat, is any day better than other drinks save Beer. So after a while at around 2-ish some of the guys left as they are "working" professionals. That left just 3 of us in the house and then to our horror we discovered that we had run outta cigarettes. Now there would be no shops open at that time of the night where we stayed. So we took out the car and headed to MG Road, where the nightlife even the cops cant stop thrives. It consists ofTea/Coffee sellers who come on a Bicycle carrying their container of the beverage,plastic glasses of the disposable kind and Cigarettes. The journey itself was exhilarating. Cold weather, Loud music playing Iron Maiden at concert sound levels, and Formula 1 Driving skills.We reached there in like 1 song.And thats because we had to stop off at an ATM to draw money cause none of us were carrying any money! Sitting on the pavemen,drinking Tea,which was hot and comforting in the cold weather, and a cigarette each! Sitting there we were discussing what to do next when the discussion of Mumbai rains came up.Someone mentioned that planes were grounded and others couldnt land or take off due to flooded runways,when I suddenly got the bright idea of going to see planes take off n land. Off Airport road in Bangalore, there is a road called Wind-Tunnel Road which if u follow it far enough ends up running parallel to the runway. We headed there at once. We reached a secluded spot with a great view and parked. Went out had more smokes and sat there for a couple of hours till the cold got the better of us. I did put in a couple of snaps in the photos section but as its from a phone cam unless u zoom in there is not much visible. So thats how PLANE SPOTTING came about. Went back to his place, crashed at around dawn.I got up a couple of hours later and left for home. My mates were stilll sleeping and still are for all I know. I'll have to check on them now.

Saying goodbye

2005-11-08T13:41:00.000-08:00

Saying goodbye Saying goodbye is hard to do, but it's just something i got to do. Even though it hurts to let you go, iguess I'm just better off alone. I don't want to say goodbye, but you leave me with no choice. But please remember that saying goodbye is hard to do, but this is the only way. Please don't be mad at me, and please don't hate me. It's just not working out between me and you, the way we planned it. But please just try to understand, that saying goodbye is hard to do. WRITTEN 6-12-05

Cutters Feelings

2005-11-07T08:44:00.000-08:00

What would you do if it were you? You were the one with the problem And people only criticized You only do it for attention. Im so sick of this, who cares What would you do if you were crying out for help? And no one listened to you Because you CUT How would you feel if you were walking the line? If you were the one close to suicide? You would care a lot more You wouldnt be so quick to criticize Or to scorn and give them nasty titles You wouldnt be so judgmental And you would certainly look at it differently So think about things that way Some do it for the attention That is true But let me tell you something Most of them need help Most of them are true and real And it is their only way to truly feel So next time you see someone who cuts Or you hear about someone who cuts Why not give them a chance And not base your opinion on their actions Because these cutters are the true ones Next time you feel the need to criticize Look at yourself first Realize what you do wrong Then youll see what others may think By the poems about cutting The truths that come out You should realize the EPIDEMIC That has come about So instead of saying screw you Or something along those lines Possibly even its for attention You should realize This is real! We have to look at it For it is an addiction That can lead to death But if you truly want them to lose all hope To forget about the good To give up on help they need And secretly crave Then go along and judge them Then it will be you to blame You knock down their spirits You tear them down Look in the mirror Look and see whats wrong Some of you may have eating disorders Some may pop pills Some may drink excessively Or hide behind the drugs But then again Its only cutting thats wrong Its only cutting thats getting the attention Why not look around Instead of being a heartless basterds Try being A FRIEND

Awwwwww yeeeeeeeah!

2005-11-06T13:45:00.000-08:00

This song was voted in the top 5 worst songs of all time on some internet poll. Maybe that's why I like it so much. I first heard it on Beavis and Butthead a few years ago. At that moment, I knew there was a group whose music spoke to me. Possibly the greatest love song ever? You be the judge. When you lie, kiss your baby bye bye byeAnd if you're true, the whole wide world will laugh with youWhen we see nothing's wrong with you and meTime will tell, it might even ring a wedding bellIf you think that I'm a loserWell you suck, 'cause you know I ain't nothin' but a userOf your love I can't get enoughGirl it's true, the whole wide world is smiling with youPush th' little daisies and make 'em come up [4x]Sometimes I know, and sometimes I'm on the goBut I'm comin' back, so don't give me no flack, yeahIt's all you, and it's me tooAnd it's your world, you's the girl, you's the girlHappier than sh_t, things that might go click with meClick with you, is that love? Is that love, ohhh...Push th' little daisies and make 'em come up [8x]Watch the little daisies grow, little daisies growNow just push th' little daisies and make 'em come upWatch them grow, watch them growAs I push the little daisies and make 'em come upMake 'em come up, make 'em come up,Make 'em come up, sayPush th' little daisies and make 'em come up [7x]

Father's Day Weekend

2005-11-06T08:29:00.000-08:00

What a great weekend! It was packed full of Adventure Island and Lettuce Lake Park. Gabe and I took some time to venture out into the Lettuce Lake Boardwalk and visit the Eiffel Tower. Confused? Let Dana explain http://spaces.msn.com/members/gabemorris

Minneapolis

2005-11-05T13:44:00.000-08:00

We are just outside of Minneapolis in Savage, Mn. Still we are beating the weather, no rain, just heat and humidity. Got here yesterday and went to the Mall of the Americas. Sure is a big place, especially the amusement park in it. Then we had lunch at Famous Dave's BBQ - it was wonderful. Had planned on taking a tour of a grandfather clock factory, but they don't give tours any more - poop. So we just hung around and rested today. Tomorrow we move on again, not sure where to yet but towards Wisconsin.

The World is Full of Scary People

2005-11-05T08:33:00.000-08:00

What would possess amother to put her children into the trunk of a car as a form of punishment? I am referring to a news bit that I read on msn. Here is the link for anyone interested in reading it. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8406487/ I am not only sickened by what this mother did, but I am disturbed that the woman was not immediately arrested. I understand that they did not want to further upset these children, but for pete's sake, she could have killed them by putting them in the trunk. Next time they may not be so lucky as to have people around to witness their mother's abuse and put a stop to it. The world is full of scary people that should never have children.

Rainbow Raider Visitor Of The Week

2005-11-04T13:30:00.000-08:00

Rainbow Raider Visitor Of The Week Contest Think you're a frequent visitor of this space ? , A Fan of this space ? Love the blogs in this space ? well then take your chance to be the visitor of the week by posting daily comments , this contest is held weekly , and it will start by 15th August 2005 , so remember to post your daily comments and gain special fame slot in this space Rules and Regulations Must have atleast 1 - 10 comments per week No Spammings and must be related to topic Anyone found spamming will be disqualified

Homework :(

2005-11-04T08:33:00.000-08:00

I've been doing homework all weekend and I must say: it's pretty boring. It's not that the work is hard, it's just that it's not fun to do. Get what I'm saying (If you don't, too bad)? I had to look up 120 definitions for my disease class and it was so boring. I had to look up perfixes, suffixes, and root words to medical conditions and it made me realize that this was going to be my hardest class . Plus, I have a two-pagereport on the disease 'cholera' due by Friday and a test sometime next week in this class. In honors biology, I had to look up nine-teen definitions and do a couple of questions (which just happened to be quite difficult when considering the fact that I suck horriblyin science). That's aboot it for the homework. I haven't really done anything this weekend, so there's not much I can write about, other than the fact that my cat threw up on one of my favorite shirts today.

I dunno

2005-11-03T08:45:00.000-08:00

Does anyone else think that homework is the most pointless thing ever? well if you don't, it is, and i think it should be outlawed, yes outlawed, not just abbandoned, it should be illegal for anyone to assign homework, so there. Do you think i should start a petition, because it is a good cause, and i could most likely get enough signatures!

classes... EVIL

2005-11-02T08:34:00.000-08:00

Mk... I DONT HAVE FRIENDS :( :( :( NOOOOOOOOOOO... i mean in my classes... mk well here are my classes... room course tittle teacher 74 ALGEBRA II CASTRO C 39 ENG 11 DURAZO C 58 SPANISH IV VARGAS J 21 ART APPREC WINEINGER V 68 US HISTORY MONTES F 46 VET SCIENCE ROJAS I WELL ALL OF MY FRIENDS SAID I WAS EITHER GOING TO DIE OR mmm SUFFER A GREAT DEAL OF PAIN.... CUZ OF..... DURAZO... TAN TAN TAN.... YAH... WHAT THE HELL I HAVE ROJAS AGAIN'.... AHHHH THAT SUCKS... BET HES GOIN' TO MAKE A F-F-F-FOOL OUT OF ME IN THAT CLASS... TAKIN' OUT MY GAY VIRUS MODEL AND SHOWIN' IT TO EVERYONE.... AHHHHHHH :( ..... I REALLY DO HAVE BAD LUCK.... WELL ATLEAST I HAVE ART APPREC.... SOUNDS LIKE FUN... VERNON HAD THAT WOMAN BEFORE... HE SAID SHE WAS A BITCH :| CUZ SHE ALWAYS PICKED ON HIM... alright relax.... its just school... father can bribe them :P hahaha...jk... no one is there to comfort me :| ... Weezer said I was going to die in a really painful slow death in Durazo's class... even Irene said so... :( Irene told me to change my classes :| to AP... wow AP thats weird scarry and kewl... sooo I might change Spanish and English... yah... and I promised papa and ma that im going to do good for now on.... SOoooooo study study study... Return of the Nerd.... tan tan tan... and ma said if i get decent she goin to do somethin really magical for me : wow... Oy shes still mad at me... hahahah.... yeah... WOOOOOOOo Vernon commin back next week or the other week... : ... mmm o well taly ho have to change my classes right now... I hope they let me :|

School Bus Revisited

2005-11-01T13:44:00.000-08:00

Katie and I were driven down to the used bus dealer again by a man in our congregation. We were to pick up the bus that had stalled on us last time. When we arrived the owner was not there and the bus battery was dead. So, was this three strikes and you're out? No, not yet. While the mechanic worked at getting the bus started, I talked with the owner's son who seems to be a Christian. He feels that the Lord has given him a mission field in selling used busses. He has been able to meet many buyers from places like Guatemala. He will also be taking a missions trip to Panama in the near future. Well, the mechanic finally got the bus working. We drove it to McDonald's. This is where the adventure began. Not knowing how long it would take for the alternator to charge up the battery, we left it running while we ate a healthy meal at America's finest. After allowing Katie to play on the playland for ten minutes, we walked out toward the bus. Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There was a puddle of dirty water as wide as the bus under the engine. "Water" was dripping from the engine. I sent Katie to the van and jumped into the bus to stop it. Whew! I shut off the engine. But, the dripping was not water. It was not oil. It was diesel fuel dripping from an injector line! This was the line that was supposed to have been replaced by the dealer before we arrived. The line was not just loose; it was completely unscrewed. All of the threads were visible. All of them! A truck driver had parked his rig next to us (the Lord's timing) and we were able to borrow a wrench to tighten the line. After a two hour ride (and a visit to the new Saab dealership on Vine Street) we pulled into the gravel driveway at Tom Hurst Jr.'s welding shop. The rest is up to him. He knows a bus mechanic that can check it out "from stem to stern." Should he give a good report, we will have a new bus and a few dollars left over to make any future repairs. After driving to Newcomerstown three times this summer, I hope this is my last visit...for a while.

Job

2005-11-01T08:46:00.000-08:00

Last week I got a job!! And its an awesome job. I clean at the Moose-Jackson Cafe.Monday was my first day working on my own and it was really confusing cuz I couldn't remember most of the stuff I had to do =S But I guess it was okay. I have to work again today, but this time I'll be working the easier job.Well.. that's all I have to say. Laterz!

Tales Of A Scorched Earth

2005-10-31T13:33:00.000-08:00

Farewell goodnight last one out turn out the lightsAnd let me be, let me die insideLet me know the way from of this world of hate in youCause the dye is cast, and the bitch is backAnd we're all dead yeah we're all deadIn side the future of a shattered pastI lie just to be real, and I'd die just to feelWhy do the same old things keep on happening?Because beyond my hopes there are no feelingsBless the martyrs and kiss the kidsFor knowing better, for knowing thisCause you're all whores and I'm a fagAnd I've got no mother and I've got no dadTo save me the wasted, save me from myselfI lie just to be real, and I'd die just to feelWhy do the same old things keep on happening?Because beyond my hopes there are no feelingsEverbody's lost just waiting to be foundEveryone's a thought just waiting to fadeSo fuck it all cause I don't careSo what somehow somewhere we daredTo try to dare to dare for a little moreI lie just to be real, and I'd die just to feelWhy do the same old things keep on happening?Because beyond my hopes there are no reasons I love that song. So angst ridden. Its the gloominess of the Pumpkins thats brilliant.

It's my sis's birthday:-)

2005-10-31T08:29:00.000-08:00

Dear blog, Today, no actually yesterday,I pleasantly stayed at home all day except going to supermarket with sis prae for a while. It's so good getting full of rest. Today is my big sis birthday; she's 28 right now. Lately, I have a secret wish for her to be married and get out of the house soon; it'll be awesome cause sometimes she's so urh...annoying hahaha kidding sis!! Anyway, I'd rather have her aroud better than let her be with a bastard, you know cause" Boys r always suck." It may sound prejudice, but come on! We, girls and boys are interested in different things andwe have different way of thinking;I mean even in the case of same sex, people are different. So to speak,there's a little chance to findamanthat canstand being with u allhis life, seeing good things in u although he doesn't understand at all. The reason that boys aresuck because they're not good company for girls.They can'tshopping, cryingand share feeling when wewatchdrama; andthey don't have "PERIOD"aka. " Killing Cramp"and " Mood Swing." Moreover theysay girls talk rubbish and whinning whilewhen they do, they tend tobetter call it"the way peoplerelease stress." The worst reason of allis thatthey'reungreatful,get layand scoredby us,women and thennamed us "A slut," "A whore," "A bitch"or whatevernamethat make us feel guity though they'rethe one who"F_ck" us. Alright, I don't want to attack boys anymore. It's not fair forfew good guys(sorry,friends.) My point is that people are different even with the same sex, and we love to be with same kind of people right? So in general, boys and girls are never completely understand each other.The only thing we can do is imagine others's feeling. Anyway, I still love being with boy though he doesn't understand me. If only he cares to think of how I feel, that's good enough. Geez, am I nagging?I think...I'dbetter go to sleep Take care and sweet dream

Steroid shocker: Palmeiro suspended - Baseball - MSNBC.com

2005-10-30T08:31:00.000-08:00

Where's your Viagra now? Huh? Ok, it's lame, but I really used to enjoy shouting that at the top of my lungs at M's v. Rangers games a couple of years ago when he was still hawking "the little blue pill." "They" say that baseball players have been juicing since the beginning of time. That makes me sad to think that all those old records were just set and broken and reset based on the steroids of thier time. I know there's no point, but steroids in professional sports bothers me ... I already have a shaky opinion of adults "playing" for a living. The fact that there's organized cheating is really offensive. Blah-dy dah dah dah. Quote Steroid shocker: Palmeiro suspended - Baseball - MSNBC.comRafael Palmeiro was suspended for violating Major League Baseballs steroids policy Monday, nearly five months after telling Congress that I have never used steroids. Period. ... In remarks prepared for a conference call Monday, Palmeiro said he had accepted his punishment and could not explain how the steroids got into his body. I have never intentionally used steroids. Never. Ever. Period, he said. Ultimately, although I never intentionally put a banned substance into my body, the independent arbitrator ruled that I had to be suspended under the terms of the program.

I can't stop the tears that ain't coming.

2005-10-29T14:45:00.000-07:00

You know who you are, this ones for you boy: I sit here at night, in front of my computer waiting for another of your letters. I feel like im stuck in time between the hour of the day you left and the next time we come into contact. I'm crying invisible tears though im not sure why. I want them to fall so badly but i think its for your request that they don't touch my skin. You did say you didn't mean to break my heart and you asked me not to cry. You've done what you've thought is right but it seems to hurt me so bad. i understand why it is that you've done this, cos of the care and the love you feel. you don't want me to miss youbuteverything seems worse while you're not around. I don't know what im supposed to do when the only person that could stop me from crying is the one that is making me cry. i know, its not your fault, i know theres nothing you could do but can't you see how much easier it woulda been on me if you had been here for me? During the day, i attack everything independentlyto prove to you im no push over and that your girl is strong, but during the night i feel so helpless like a little girl as all my feelings seem to explode. i hope you can someday know the pain i go through for you and that i'll be the girl you've always wanted me to be. I love you.

Legistlation of Morality

2005-10-29T09:34:00.000-07:00

I recentlyu been geting fed up with the religus ppl in this country trying to legislate morality... thy aparantly are to ignorant to remember we havea seperation of church and state. on top of that thy say its bad to judge others or actualy thy dont say that but the bible does but these religus leaders keep telling ppl there wrong but realy its not there place to even in there own religion what thy are doing is wrong. like saying gays cant marry its not in the bible or anything and in any case who does it hurt? if the gay ppl are happy thats great more happy citizens. and on that topic this gays not bing alowed to adopt in texes is retarted... thy say that gays are horable parants... wtf? gay ppl are more caring than the religis fanatics running around. any way im just sick of the religus ppl always geting a say becous the republicans are religus numb nut ppl who will do anything if the church sais its right... why cant thy just let ppl do what thy whant and when thy get up to saint peter let him do the judging. the religius ppl the ones that persicute ppl for bing gay and such are the ones not ganna get in... if u read the bible ne way :P hating gays is one thing saying there going to hell or what there doing is another. and more than that thy just wanna apress some one els so i think the religusmoronsare geting way to far out of hand ~Red

YA!!!

2005-10-28T14:36:00.000-07:00

ya llegaron mis amiguitos... vuajaja y ya le arreglaron parte del karro a jomar ja!!!!! Jomar !! vamo pa la fuga!!! ale ale.... ja!! pos na q bueno ya arreglaron el karro d mami y eso q llegue a irme a pie pa la escuela como dos dias na ma y me frustre acho tu sabes con to ese sol q hace... uy no q vaporizo!!... pos na ay no c q decir pq no he hecho na ... bueno mi hermano c lleva una camara pa la escuela y yo siempre le decia q no c la llevara acho pq en la escuela son mas pillos y pos hoy vine d maldad y c la quite del bulto y cuando llego a casa estaba bien kagao ... jaja pa q aprenda !! Pos na ' no tengo mas q decir mmjmmm mas le vale a elmo q vaya pa la eskuela pq la vez q fue no estaba ... ay pos me voy ya me aburri d mis propias vovadas..

Raped and blinded

2005-10-28T09:35:00.000-07:00

Right now I feel raped and blinded for no particular reason I developed an abominable feeling about my job giving me hard time. I feel raped and blinded because I have nothing to do to make me feel occupied. Promised to do this and that, I ended up doing shit. I feel raped and blinded. Whatever it takes me to, I am going to get off this goddamn place for a while before continuing to suffer.

OH NO SHE DIDN'T!

2005-10-27T09:41:00.000-07:00

Ok... Just because I am a good friend and because I don't want to PUBLICLY embarrass someone, I am SO mad at "her" and she knows who she is! What the heck does she mean there is NO ONE to talk to in 5th hour? I SIT RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! And if u think Casey is goanna be ur new best friend, well I hate to break it to u sista, but ur SO wrong! You know what? Deandra saved you a seat at lunch... UR the one who just up and left her and got in line! See, I am the one who waited with her! IIIIII did that... NOT you! So if u EVER thought that D or I were bad friends, u've got it totally wrong! UR thw one who always dissed Deandra at track and hung out with Cat and Aud! And I'm sprry if you think that I can't keep a secret for more than an hour.... I'm not perfect! NO ONE is! And plus it;s hard to keep something a secret if you DONT KNOW ITS A SECRET, isn't it?!oOo this blog is kind of like an e-mail to "her" and you know who u are! Peace Out! DW BFFL! oOo Thanx for deleting me from ur BEST FRIENDS LIST... I greatly appriciate it! DWD BFFL? That's SO overrated! DW sounds normal... ~Whitney Triplett~

Hmm First time

2005-10-26T14:29:00.000-07:00

I am not much of a writer but I am trying out this MSN space. There are so many 'blog' sites out there I thing we should all choose one and stick by it. Preferebly Multiply :D. haahha. Anyways, I am in Arizona rite now...crazy, since im used to big cities and stuff and the desert isnt really my thing. But i love it here so far and I think it will be real fun. We have a 'downtown' by my apartment hahaa...its like, one block of concrete. Guess that city is going to have to do. Anywans, bye -Garrett

It's launched - the new MSN.com

2005-10-26T09:35:00.000-07:00

The day has finally come. We've launched the new 9.4 home page. 9.4 was the internal codename for the new design. We originally launched it on December 1, 2004 as a test. We took feedback from the test and incorporated it into the final design. The final design integrates the new MSN search functionality which is also launching today. Because we had so much feedback on the color of the page we added a feature to allow users to select the color of the page they prefer. We also did a ton of work cleaning up the page and converting to XHTML and using CSS for the layout. The net effect is something I'm proud of and I hope our users enjoy. We'll have to see as the feedback rolls in!

Day/ Night

2005-10-25T14:38:00.000-07:00

My head spins, I feel I am getting worse, and I find mysef fantasising about what may or may not be wrong... I must stop this, I wish another were here to stop me. Is it easier if another tells you? Would I respond possitievely? Maybe I just want the pity? I see that, though I still yearn for it... the pain in my head gets worse, I must rest, the clock rests its hands at the bottom of the clock... this early, but I can't do any more... rest calls, I'm too tierd to evenwave the fly from my face...

Ibecac

2005-10-25T09:35:00.000-07:00

Quick setup: Ipecac is used to induce vomiting, generally on babies who have swallowed poison or something. Here's a link for more info Here's the Family Guy clip. Enjoy. http://abum.com/files/Movies/family_guy_puke.wmv (to download to your cpu: right-click, save as)

Can't Wait Til The Weekend!

2005-10-24T09:29:00.000-07:00

So, this has been a really long week. It is only 1:45 and I am completely bored. I've already done a lot of stuff today, too.I spent like two hours in storm lake just messing around, but that was also boring. I hate waiting for one hour photo! Otherwise, I have today off from the pool, which is pretty awesome, because I'm getting sick of it down there. The new slide was put in yesterday, it's pretty sweet, it flings people pretty far! All the little kids love it, so whatever makes them happy. It's pretty busy down there right now...yes I'm not down there! So this weekend, I am going to Nebraska for like three days. I wish it was indefinitly. I'm going to get my hair cut tomorrow in Lyons, then going to Norfolk to my g-mas, then on Saturday we are leaving for Lincoln for a wedding, and Sunday we are shopping in Omaha, and going back to Norfolk to drop my gma off. Lots of traveling, but that is what MP3 players are made for. I'm so excited for the shopping...I don't need anything, but I'll find tons of shit to buy. Well, I think I'm going to go to my room and clean it. It's digusting, like many molds and bacteria that no one has even heard of is invested in the junk on my floor. Yuck! Later everyone...ps...i saw Ben Wells in Storm Lake today...lol Wiener

Yesh

2005-10-22T14:40:00.000-07:00

Well, Dalton, Nicole, Sarah, and I went to battle Creek and we went mall crawling and Sarah bought me this cool hat that I loved. thanks Laria! ^.^ It was orgasmic as usual. Well, i am leaving early in the mornin tomorrow. I am going camping. Up to Ludington and Muskegon I go, and too michigan adventures. My friends say, wow, be happy. But I am going with three children, and two parents. I would rather be right where i am, with my friends and my msn. *I am a creature of the anti social type* Anyways, i wont be back for a week. I shall leave you with a parting poem. The good Friend. My heart is sad, your pain it sees. In your grief you are clad, I wish it wasnt to be. Someone you adored, Loved to no end. Youre now ignored, By this such good friend. You are so full of grief, Feeling so shunned. It is beyond belief, What this good friend has done. It breaks your heart, And with it, mine. To see you torn apart, It makes me pine. Just so you know, This friend you dont need. If they makes you feel so low, That you just want to bleed. I will always be here, Ever true. I hope that it is clear, That I will never leave you. -D.R.H.-

=)

2005-10-22T09:41:00.000-07:00

ALRIGHT FROM SUPERGRASS We are young!!!, we run green!!! Keep our teeth!!!, nice and clean!!!See our friends, see the sights, feel alrightWe wake up, we go out, smoke a fag Put it out, see our friends See the sights, feel alright Are we like you? I can't be sure Of the scene, as she turns We are strange in our worlds But we are young, we get by Can't go mad, ain't got time Sleep around, if we like But we're alright Got some cash, bought some wheels Took it out, 'cross the fields Lost control, hit a wall But we're alright Are we like you I can't be sure Of the scene, as she turns We are strange in our worlds But we are young, we run green Keep our teeth, nice and clean See our friends, see the sights, feel alright Are we like you I can't be sure Of the scene, as she turns We are strange in our world But we are young, we run green Keep our teeth, nice and clean See our friends, see the sights, feel alright

haha!

2005-10-21T14:35:00.000-07:00

hahahahah! I went to type in a title for this entry and I double clicked in the box and "Hello, im seeking a foxy woman" showed up. wow...I really don't want to know. well anyway, I ran for the first time in a long time today...quite proud of myself. the end.

You are Gone and so am I

2005-10-21T09:46:00.000-07:00

Wanting to be near you Wishing we were together Hoping we will see each other Longing to hold you I'm here without you Lost and confused Looking for you Without a sign to go by You packed all your stuff up You left without a word You just walked out the door I chased after you I ran as hard as I could I fell so many times Only to get back up And keep on trying Now I'm finally running out Of the determination I had I have no hope of finding you You just ran too far I'm here crying without you I'm letting the tears run Letting them flow Collecting each precious one To let you know I cried for you I made some calls I told people it was over I let everyone know I wouldn't see them again They found me With tears in my eyes With a jar full of tearsThat I cried for you They found me hanging >From the cieling with a pool of blood Underneath of me from The cuts on my wrists

The End

2005-10-20T14:38:00.000-07:00

I would explain why this poem exists and why I'm feeling the way I am, but that would mean being open and I think I've had enough of that with yesterdays post, So here's a poem I wrote, to sum it all up, sorta. Shit how could I let this happen I'm not supposed to like you You're just a friend But why... Why do I want more than that? I'm not supposed to like you, I keep telling myself this But nothing can keep my mind from wandering Tell me now Tell me how I'm not the one Spurn me good Make my heart burn and break Tell me now The hope is killing me The unknown is suffocating Shatter the hope and set me free, >From this insanity Don't come to close Don't touch my heart I'm a walking disease Infectious and afflicting Tell me now, I'm begging you End it all and let me rest in peace, or in pieces as my heart breaks and, I'm set free from this death grip you have on my heart Don't give me any hope Unless you're here to cure the insanity Maybe this pathetic cry will cure this disease I have no fucking clue how this happened The anxiety is killing me, but please won't you do it first? Pull the trigger and say I hate you, and walk away as the blood flows, and the cure spreads, As my heart shuts down, and I realize all I've been living was a lie End it all so I have a chance, The thought of you is killing me, The bliss is taking over As your memory is sustained, and stays There was never a chance for this nightshade to bloom It's pure poison so pour it past my lips So your death grip is less threatening, and your silent voice is less deafening, Maybe now all the thoughts will cease, and my heart will decease, Just please set me free, This hope it's killing me I'll probably regret every word from here on out But there was something about you Something I couldn't just let go Please, the words keep flowing and, That damn hope keeps growing, End it before this dream becomes a full fledged fantasy... I dedicate this post to, The Enigma, I got caught up in you and now I'm saying things I'm already regretting, but maybe now it's over, maybe now the insanity has stopped... ------>This will probably be my last post so here are some quotes you think are important at 6 in the morning when all you can think of is that damn "L" word These words I speak are my own, Natasha Bedingfield Regret is not an option, no more, You only live once, so fucking help me through it!, Me You just might be the death of me Heart in a blender watch it spin round into a beautiful oblivion, Inside out; Eve 6 I feel like I'm writing my suicide letter to the world..., Me I hate life but I live to spite it, Me But above all else Listen to your heart, D.H.T. Listen To Your Heart D.H.T.I know there's something in the wake of your smile I get a notion from the look in your eyes...yeah You've built a love but that love falls apart Your little piece of heaven turns to dark Listen to your heart when he's calling for you Listen to your heart There's nothing else you can do I don't know where you're going, and I don't know why But listen to your heart Before you tell him goodbye Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worth while The precious moments are all lost in the tide(ya) They're swept away and nothing is what it seems The feeling of belonging to your dreams Listen to your heart when he's calling for you Listen to your heart There's nothing else you can do I don't know where you're going, and I don't know why But listen to your heart Before you tell him goodbye And there are voices, that want to be heard So much to mention but you can't find the words The scent of magic, the beauty thats been When love was wilder than the wind Listen to your heart when he's calling for you Listen to your heart Theres nothing else you can do I don't know where you're going, and i dont know why But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye Listen to your heart I dont know where your going and i dont know why But listen to your heart Before you tell him goodbye And with that I say The End and say my own Goodbyes Maybe I'll start again soon, but this poem is all I had left in me My inspiration is gone

Hey!!! I bored~!!

2005-10-20T09:30:00.000-07:00

Hey ya'll...I hate this I have to clean the house cause my mom is throwing me a family birthday party!! Sooo i have to babysit my lil sis and clean the house!! it sux!! o well amber is here soo she hopefully will help! Anyway i am soo bored!! Nobody is online!! i want to talk!!Someone plz get online...i am soooo freaking bored!! Well someone call me!! @ 880-4123!! And leave a comment!! I like to read those hehe!! bye Love Always and 4-Ever, Allyson-Arielle-Hines

If I Knew (PLEASE TAKE TIME & READ)

2005-10-19T14:29:00.000-07:00

IF I KNEW IT WOULD BE THE LAST TIME THAT I'D SEE YOU FALL ASLEEP, I WOULD TUCK YOU IN MORE TIGHTLY AND PRAY THE LORD, YOUR SOUL TO KEEP. IF I KNEW IT WOULD BE THE LAST TIME THAT I SEE YOU WALK OUT THE DOOR, I WOULD GIVE YOU A HUG AND A KISS AND CALL YOU BACK FOR ONE MORE. IF I KNEW IT WOULD BE THE LAST TIME I 'D HEAR YOUR VOICE LIFTED UP IN PRAISE, I WOULD VIDEO TAPE EACH ACTION AND WORD SO I COULD PLAY THEM BACK DAY AFTER DAY. IF I KNEW IT WOULD BE THE LAST TIME, I COULD SPARE AN EXTRA MINUTE TO STOP AND SAY "I LOVE YOU, "INSTEAD OF ASSUMING YOU KNOW I DO, IF I KNEW IT WOULD BE THE LAST TIME I WOULD BE THERE TO SHARE YOUR DAY, WELL I'M SURE YOU'LL HAVE SO MANY MORE, SO I CAN LET JUST THIS ONE SLIP AWAY. FOR SURELY THERE'S ALWAYS TOMORROW TO MAKE UP FOR AN OVERSIGHT, AND WE ALWAYS GET A SECOND CHANCE TO MAKE EVERYTHING RIGHT. THERE WILL ALWAYS BE ANOTHER DAY TO SAY "I LOVE YOU, "AND CERTAINLY THERE'S ANOTHER CHANCE TO SAY "ANYTHING I CAN DO? " BUT JUST IN CASE I MIGHT BE WRONG, AND TODAY IS ALL I GET, I'D LIKE TO SAY HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU AND I HOPE WE NEVER FORGET. TOMORROW IS NOT PROMISED TO ANYONE, YOUNG OR OLD ALIKE. AND TODAY MAY BE THE LAST CHANCE YOU GET TO HOLD YOUR LOVED ONE TIGHT. SO IF YOU'R WAITING FOR TOMORROW, WHY NOT DO IT TODAY? FOR IF TOMORROW NEVER COMES, YOU'LL SURELY REGRET THE DAY. THAT YOU DIDN'T TAKE THE EXTRA TIME FOR A SMILE, A HUG, OR A KISS AND YOU WERE TOO BUSY TO GRANT SOMEONE WHAT TURNED OUT TO BE THEIR ONE LAST WISH. SO HOLD YOUR LOVED ONES CLOSE TODAY, AND WHISPER IN THEIR EAR, TELL THEM HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM AND THAT YOU'LL ALWAYS HOLD THEM DEAR.TAKE THIS TIME TO SAY "I'M SORRY, " "PLEASE FORGIVE ME, " "THANK YOU, " OR "IT'S OKAY. " AND IF TOMORROW NEVER COMES, YOU'LL HAVE NO REGRETS ABOUT TODAY.

Bienvenidos

2005-10-19T09:36:00.000-07:00

Bienvenidos a este humilde espacio dedicado a todo lo que quiero, amo y me gusta... Por supuesto mi hermosa novia, mi maravillosa familia dispersa por Venezuela y el mundo, mis amigos que siempre andan por ahi, la madre naturaleza llena de sabiduria e inmesurable belleza, los libros la musica etc. Saludos a los que me aman, me quieren o estiman y a los que no tambien :D Pedro Zamora

Sunny and Humid Monday

2005-10-18T14:38:00.000-07:00

The usual boring yet relatively humid Monday, I finally finished the 4th draft of my report. Saw a pretty Celica on the way back from work at I-94W. Plus a Highlander for sale before the freeway..... still don't have the urge to go check out the car yet. I totally fall in love with Celica. Too pretty and yet versatile.

Things My Mother Taught Me

2005-10-18T09:33:00.000-07:00

Things My Mother Taught Me My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." My mother taught me about RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" My mother taught me about AUTHORITY. "Because I said so, that's why." My mother taught me about FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." My mother taught me about IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." My mother taught me about PERSEVERANCE. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." My mother taught me about SIMILES. "This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it." My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" My mother taught me about ENVY and GUILT. "There are millions of children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" My mother taught me about DETERRENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." My mother taught me about PRESCIENCE. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you'll be cold?" My mother taught me about EMPATHY. "When that lawnmower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." My mother taught me about PHYSICAL MATURATION and the importance of NUTRITION. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." My mother taught me about HEREDITY. "You're just like your father." My mother taught me about WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

August 17...

2005-10-17T14:37:00.000-07:00

Hah... Mind of Mencia has to be the funniest show I've ever seen... next to Chappelle's show.... " Why do we have seatbelt laws? If people don't wear them, then they deserve.......... to die." or " Men want sex, and success.... but women.... women want EVERYTHING!" hahaha oh man........ he makes fun of everybody.... oh my gosh......... let's see today at work, when i worked aWHOLE HOUR (oh wow that's a long time).... i was sitting on the far bench ... and carolyne and I were waving at people ... well the girls swim team while they were practicing to see how many people waved back..... and everyone that saw us did... cept one person who just kept swimmin and laughed at us (you know who you are)..... And people... you are stupid....i get a chain letter saying hotmail is going to close down... my ass.... MSN would send it directly or there would be news all over the place about it... and besides for msn to do it by chain would be ILLEGAL..... dumbass... andoh yea.. look at the dumb font... HOTMAIL is bigger than normal... hmmm.... I'm down to over 9 days now, and its nuts... I have friends that have already moved out..... *this part is written @ 11:31... I never pushed submit..original done at 10:35* and fuckin A.... dumbshit me forgot to calls someone when i got back from Michigan and now that person is leaving tomorrow morning for college... so what the hell.... yea i screwed up ... yet again..... so yea... guilt trip USA for me now........ aye.... what am i to do???? I don't deserve to have friends if i do stuff like this .... aye crap...... that's it for today... and remember your friends.....

All the things in the world...

2005-10-17T09:34:00.000-07:00

Sometimes People say things that hurt them and even that is worng to do.... What would you like me to do? You hurt me and I am suposed to just roll over and play dead? I feel, and I will do stuff that will make me feel better... that did.... but it hurt you For that I am sorry...

An iPod = A Stupid Me

2005-10-16T14:40:00.000-07:00

I like to spend money and I have an undying love for electronics. There, I admit it. I spend hard earned cash on gadgets that I dont really need and they usually turn up in the paper for sale soon there after. Sometimes my purchases will work out and Ill enjoy an electronic device for all its worth. My laptop, for example, has literally traveled the world over with me and it gets used pretty heavily. Its kind of a two way street on how Ill treat electronics so when I bought my 20GB Apple iPod I kind of had an idea of what to expect. Let me get this out of the way; the 20GB Apple iPod is an over rated piece of hardware, in my opinion. I was in the market for a MP3 player, I could take to the gym, when I happened to notice two of my friends sporting this particular model. I checked out their iPods, fooled around with all the little added features and listened to some music. I was sold. I feel so blindly in love with these iPods that I had to have one for myself. Ive owned one now for almost two months and its pretty safe to say that I wasted my money. Please dont get me wrong, the thing is pretty great to have at the gym. It helps pass the time spent there and when I turn the music up it drowns out the various grunts and noises people often make when lifting weights. It just hasnt been worth the overall price for me. now believe paying close to $300 is ridiculous for only 20GB of music storage. It may work for someone else but not for me. I defiantly have the amount of CDs required to fill a 20GB iPod with music but Ive faced some cold facts; some of the music I own should stay hidden in a case way in the back of my closet forever. I do not have the time to fill an entire iPod all the way up and I refuse to dig up some crappy music to do so. Im content with just about 20 CDs saved to the thing and I dont really care to listen to half of them anyway. And thats only eaten about 4GB of free space! You can say I should have gotten an iPod mini but their only $50 cheaper for a total of 6GBs instead of 20GBs. That doesnt make sense to me now that Im seeing things clearly. I know this is my fault but the honeymoon is over for my iPod and me. I should have picked up the smaller and way cheaper iPod Shuffle instead! I hope this experience has finally kicked my habit of buying expensive toys on a whim. Im a male which means I cant totally help myself. I was convinced that I needed a 20GB iPod and I was wrong. Ill use that rational part of my brain the next time I think I see something I cant live without. I Just hope Ill be listening when I do.

LV Diary 8/14/05 (15 of 20)

2005-10-16T09:31:00.000-07:00

LV Diary 8/14/05 (15 of 20) I got up this morning feeling pretty good but a little sad I had to leave the Silverton. Its seems I just got here. I remember when I first started to come to Vegas regularly; I stayed the typical two or three nights and then drove home. Now, those same two nights seem to go by lightning fast. Ill certainly miss the mattress, hands down the best Ive slept in during this whole vacation. After checking out, I decided to attack those full pay Jokers for one last $100. I still have a premium hand coming to me. When I got there, some yahoo was playing Keno on MY machine. Damn, you can play Keno on any machine in the casino, but this guy is using my machine. I sat down at the one next to him, which has a blurry screen and began playing. Fortunately, he lost his money and left. I moved over and began to play. There was another man on the other end also playing Jokers Wild but he was playing quarters where I only play dimes. We started chatting and hes as knowledgeable about Jokers as anyone. We talked about the very few full pay Jokers left and where theyre at. He wasnt doing too well, but he understands the fluctuations. Its nice to have someone to chat with who is informed. The strangest thing happened to me during this session. I got four natural sixes (not all that unusual), but on the very next hand, I go four natural sixes again, all in the very same spotsI cant be sure of the suits though. I dont remember that ever happening before. The gentleman on the end told me about once years ago catching a royal flush in back-to-back handsonly in my dreams. I ended up the session with only being down $9, and said good bye to the Silverton. I have a free desert coupon with a meal, so who knows, maybe on my way out of town, I might just stop by to play those Jokers one last timethe free desert, which I may not even use, could be my excuse. I headed out to Sunset Station in Henderson. Since Sams Town dumped me (dont get me started), Sunset has been my home casino. Aside from the two mile walk to your rooms from the casino (not really quite that far), its really a nice place to stay. Now that theyve remodeled their rooms after their A property, Green Valley Ranch, its a great place to stay for the price. This month they offered my Sunday night free, Monday night $19.95, Tuesday night free with Wednesday night $19.95, and Thursday night free with me leaving on Friday. A wrench has been thrown in to my whole trip report titles. It seems that my Thursday night stay could not be included as there was some small print on the back of my offer that stated: Maximum 4 night stay. They wanted to charge me the rack rate of $159.00 for Thursday night. I complainedshe went to see the managerand came back with a casino rate of $45.00. I told them Id think about it, but Id probably just leave a day earlier. Five nights to stay in one place is nice, but considering how long my trip has been, it wont kill me to go home one day early. Naturally, my whole x of 20 diary report days now get out of whackand theres a part of me almost willing to pay for the extra day for that reason alonewhich might be the silliest reason of allbut thats how I am. Stay tuned and Ill let you know, but it appears my trip will be cut short a dayunless, of course, I go on this huge winning binge. Speaking of winning binges, I havent had any. Im still royal-less for the trip. However, you might remember that I budgeted enough money to handle a $100 per day loss. Now this would mean that every four days, Id have to find a Wells Fargo and ATM (yes, Ive made it a verb) out $300.00 at a clip. I am very happy to write that up until last night, I have not had to go to the bank at all. Ive managed to live off my initial $300 bankroll I left home with for the past two weeks. Now that includes all the money Ive spent on food, tips, gas, and other small miscellaneous things. The only things Ive put on a credit card are the hotel rooms that werent a comp. Two weeks in Las Vegas gambling every day (though admittedly not wildly), and living off $300.00. Of course all things had to come to an end and when I lost the $100 at the Hilton last night, I knew I was down to under a hundred, so it was off to the ATM. Im funny this way, but rather than give the casino ATM a $4 service charge, Ill drive two miles to a Wells Fargo ATM. Im that way with gas too. If I can buy gas for two cents cheaper per gallon, Ill drive a few extra miles to do sonot so much for the money saving but to give my business to the guy who tries harder. My room on the 18th floor here at Sunset is very nice, and though the mattress is quite comfortable, it doesnt compare to the Silverton. One of the problems with switching hotels so often is that you get your room numbers mixed up. This used to happen to me in my band days when I was on the road. So, Ive taken care to write down my room number in my small Steno-note pad. Being that this is my last room, I thought I mention them now: Fiesta #410; Silverton #1033; Nevada Landing #2260; LV Club #629; Main Street Station #920; Sands Regency #1441; Silverton #3078; and Sunset Station #1817. Wow! I scored one the great parking places available here. Those of you whove stayed at Sunset Station know what Im talking about. Its just outside the back door to where the rooms are located. I was able to get all my stuff right up the room without having to trek it through the casino. Well, there are only three certainties in life: death, taxes, and if I wash my carit will rain within a day. Knowing this, I gave up my primo spot and drove to the back of the hotel in the parking garage. Sure enough, twenty minutes later rain came down for the next two hours. If only my timing at the machines were as good. Sunset Station just opened a multi-million dollar bowling complex at the back of the hotel. There are 75 lanes with all state-of-the-art bowling fixtures. I took some pictures and then made the classic impulse buy. I went into the pro shop and bought a ball, shoes, and a ball bag (I can hear my parents laughing right now). You see, what makes this the classic impulse buy is that I dont bowl. Ive only gone bowling twice in the last five years on my mothers birthday (they both bowl often). So, maybe Ive decided its time to quit playing so much online poker and go out and get some exercise. And if I do want to bowl, many times I dont because I dont want to pay $2.50 for some dorky two-colored bowling shoes and then have to find a ball that isnt full of divots. Most of day was pretty uneventful. Ive been waiting to see if one of the LVA members, Jimmy, was going to call but he may have gotten in too late. We emailed about possibly getting together to play some poker. I basically just stayed at the Sunset for the rest of the day. I had dinner at Hooters (the namesake evidently is not a requirement for employment) and played a lot of games. I tried once again to play their Triple Deuces. Its a nickel machine that pays $300 for the quad deuces. Ive tried to hit the ducks on these machines off and on for the past four years and have yet to do it, though I did hit a royal flush on them a couple years back. Ill probably try a few more times before I leave. The cynic side of me believes these machines are rigged to not give the deuces, but I know betterand Ive seen a couple of people hit them in the past. Sunset Station is re-vamping their buffet and it wont be open until next December. Im curious to see what theyre going to do because I really thought their buffet was very good as it was. Sunset offers most of the new games out there and they do have one, and only one that I could fine, bank of full pay machines. Unfortunately, theyre only in quarters, so its unlikely Ill be playing them. I found another Turkey Shoot game and won a few bucks again on them. After playing here and there for about two hours, I called it a night. Tomorrow I try out the new bowling gear IF the two blisters on my feet (I over did the walking yesterday during my sightseeing tour) stop hurting so much. More tomorrow

Heylo

2005-10-15T14:31:00.000-07:00

Heylo mi loverly peers. right.. anyhow so this site is only gonna be used for pictures since it's just so darn tooten time consuming to post pictures on my xanga site. so if you want so non insightful updates from me go to www.xanga.com/pragmatismcause there wont be any on here. but it's too late tonight so i'll put some really funny/ wicked awesome pictures on here inshallah tomorrow if i'm not too busy doing school. Where there's a will there's a way. And baby, i got a way. i think that's how that goes. hehe.. i added the last part but oh vell. anyhow... hope you enjoy the pictures that will soon aventually be on here. cheers my buddies!! alli

I'm fine, thank you!

2005-10-15T09:29:00.000-07:00

Recent life: super busy but super happy! Have a happy job, nice colleagues, made many new friends, hahaha... Will be a lot busier after Sept, hope I can cope with them well. My target in 2005 will come true soon: get a driving license and study MBA. There are many things I want to do: polish my Japanese, English, Korean and French,learn the cello again, study abroad, buy a dream car with my favourite car plate number...

Early Halloween Plans

2005-10-14T14:32:00.000-07:00

When Crimson came over yesterday oddly we started to plan out outfits to wear. we are going as naruto characters! Crimson is going as either Sakura or Sauke ( she debating right now) and i'm going as mr. unibrow, Rock Lee.What!?His outfit is so easy to make! and besides i get to have a pet squirell then!

comments

2005-10-14T09:42:00.000-07:00

No One has NO commen sense cuz NOONE has left me a comment and it makes me soooo mad u people dont think anything i have to say is interesting? ummmm i cant believe it, well ive been thinking about oneil lately which suxz considering i HATE him but ya know i dont think i could see him with another girl it would kill me OH and friday night at the football game i found out saras mom thinks imma bad influence so sara aint aloud to hang out with me so i guess im losing allll my friends now, sara talks to me anyways :p which makes me kinda happy..... but still NO ONE talks to me cept meagen kristin and miranda and everyonce in a while jessica, emily doesnt talk to me much either :( iv just lost all of my friends that are so close to me but hey if they loved me they wouldnt let me go, but im still kinda shaken up by saras mom hating me i mean hey ive known her mom since ive known her.. kindergarden..... THANKZ ONEIL its your fault, lol... i cried all weekend. it just made me mad... hey are you guys going to the cowbell game?.... you 3 and sara(if she can come:(..) are comin to my b-day plus emily if i can get her to :P i love ya guys....yall dont fknow how much you 3 mean to me as friends, although i may not be yalls favorite.. im no ones favorite, im meagens 2nd yay lol well thats what she told me :P kidding(im talking to miranda, kristin, and meagen) well mostly thats who i always talk to.... i wish i could get on msn messager..... hummm i better get going oh yeah and my dad and amy are in a fight again, she is gettin tired of him but she wants to marry him i dont think he wants to marry her, i WANT her as my stepmom...sometimes i can talk to her about everything.. AND I CANT DO THAT WITH MY MOM!! which is strange, we even talk about oneil and she listens to me, i wish my dad would marry her soooo bad!!!! Gotta go loveyall3 oh and watch fuse on the 24th at 4pm im going try to dedicate a song on dedicate live, IM GOING TRY!! LOVE YOU GUYS SOOO MUCH Love BJ

Lazy day of Summer

2005-10-13T14:33:00.000-07:00

I hope he is out there somehwere. i know I know. I you can't be happy by yourself- how can you be happy with someone else. You can't rely on anothe person to supply you with happiness. When they don't make you happy you blame them and that's not fair. They didn't ask for that. you're the nighta little boy lost in the woodsyou're a folktalethe unexplainableyou're a bedtime storythe one that keeps the curtains closedI hope you're waiting for mecause I can't make it on my ownI can't make it on my ownit's too dark to see the landmarksand I don't want your good luck charmsI hope you're waiting for me across your carpet of starsyou're the nightyou're everything that we can't seeyou're the possibilityyou're the bedtime storythe one that keeps the curtains closedand I hope you're waiting for mecause I can't make it on my ownI can't make it on my ownunknown the unlit world of oldyou're the sounds I've never heard beforeoff the map where the wild things growanother world outside my doorhere I stand I'm all alonedriving down the pitch black roadyou're my only homeand I can't make it on my ownyou're a bedtime story the one that keeps the curtains closedI hope you're waiting for mecause I can't make it on my ownI can't make it on my own

well then...

2005-10-12T09:34:00.000-07:00

So Scottie broke up with me again. It's odd for me to be alone/single, that sort of thing. I mean, it's not like I ALWAYS have a boyfriend or anything, but I held on to Scottie for a long time--way longer than anyone else. I really did (and still do, on some levels I daren't explore yet) love him. Now he's gone. Really gone. And we're just friends. Really good friends. And I listen to him, whenever he needs me to, no matter what he's talking about. Girls, lust, the girl he's in love with who shall remain nameless (AKA: TGHILWWSRN), etc. etc. Yeah it can hurt, but I try not to show it. So what if he's hurt me or broken my heart a million times? (Not quite that many, but it feels that way) I still care about him, and refuse to cut him out of my life because first he was a friend. Not my first real love. So, I can either hurt andnot have him in my life, or hurt and still have a wonderful friend. I chose my fate long ago. Or rather, my heart did. My mind still argues that he is a vexing on my near shattered heart and I should let him go and rid myself of him, as one would rid themselves of a parasite. But alas! He isn't a parasite. He is one of my 3 best friends on the planet (in carnate, that is). Perhaps I'll write more later....

first blog entry!

2005-10-11T14:30:00.000-07:00

hey i am so bored i kinda forgot i had this so yea...lol...i wish i could put pics on it but i dont know how uuurgh... i just dyed my hair last night and OMG it is way blonder than i thought it would turn out to be. but i like it so its all good jk lol k well just leave some comments for me if u really wanna k ttul BiBi

What's up?

2005-10-11T09:44:00.000-07:00

I learnt the sax on Tuesday!! It's great, so much fun! Well anywho, I've not been up to much. Got a tan though. I forming a Combo-Band with my friend James, and we're gonna kick-ass. Can't wait!!! Talk to you later. We'll be on Grafton Street in a bit, see ya there!

Bad Day

2005-10-10T14:29:00.000-07:00

printer Staples printer Staples Dno hard feeling. 1 USB drive printfileWhat the hellstaffUSB port USB Universal Series Bus office accessory store USB Staples USB port 2 shortbreak down 45 3 staples print form calendar......@#$%^&*

American's & Canadaian's Please read

2005-10-10T09:34:00.000-07:00

For now this is short and sweet.A friend sent me the following link and it has me very concerned, I'm still looking into this but I feel I should get it out for more research. http://www.halturnershow.com/ChineseDefenseMinisterTalksWarAgainstUS.html I want to know what our leaders are doing about this??? You can call me a reactionary if you want...but read the the information on the link and you decide. Boomer

Midnight poetry!

2005-10-09T14:39:00.000-07:00

One - Jamie got a gun Two - there wasn't anything he could do Three - he got it for free Four - in a box 'neath the floor Five - But then his stocks took a dive Six - They were stolen by a bunch of pricks! Seven - So he brought them down from their heaven Eight - and fuelled by his inquitous hate Nine - Kill them he did! and all was fine Ten - to hell he sent them and back; never again! ookkay... if your thinking wtf... then good. If your not.. you should be thinking wtf. This came to my head at around....midnightish...trying to put myself to sleep. Ryhming with numbers...wow... I like the way i ended it though...*evil look* *munches cookie* another thing... many thanks to Final Cruches for the truckload of cookies! You'e now exempt from our (the dark side's) to bug/bother/destroy/mock/kill list for a while...didnt say how long a while did i though ?*snigger*[edit] and to sandro too :) [edit] and ... ... umm ...hmmm (ooh black empty space) ...ahhh i see something in the depths... ...mmmnah.. thats just my reflection in the monitor.. : ( ...oooh... althoughi am using a TFT...so theres no real reflection...*horror movie ish full of suspence type music playing in the background* looks left...then right... AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH! ... ... .... my foots gone numb... *soemthing moves* *GLOMP* *BUrp* ..deafening silence...

band names pt 3

2005-10-09T09:47:00.000-07:00

61 My White Bread Mom 62 Nasal Sex With Broken Glass 63 Nearly Died Laughing While Shaving My Butt 64 The Negro Problem 65 New Squids on the Dock 66 Not With My Camel 67 Painful Discharge 68 People With Chairs Up Their Noses 69 Pieces of Lisa 70 Poonanie Cramp-Up 71 Poultry in Motion 72 Prison Rape Scenes 73 Public Enema Number One 74 Purple Headed Love Warriors 75 Radical Vulvetomy 76 Rats of Unusual Size 77 Sandy Duncan's Eye 78 Scoring Dope for the Ultimate Woman 79 7 Foot Spleen 80 Sex With Midgets 81 Sheep On Drugs 82 69% Female 83 Smelly Tongues 84 Snuff the Ficus 85 Space Negroes 86 Spocks Johnson 87 Stop Calling Me Frank 88 Susanne and the Guys With Ties 89 Swingin' Udders 90 Tastes Like Chicken 91 Technosquid Eats Parliament 92 Ted Bundy's Volkswagen 93 This Is Serious, Mum 94 3D House of Beef 95 To Live and Shave in LA 96 Too Fat to Skate 97 Uncle Bob Touched Me 98 Vic Morrow's Head 99 Violent Anal Death 100 Vomit Launch 101 Voodoo Meat Bucket 102 Walking With Edna 103 Was I Naked 104 When People Were Shorter and Lived By the Water 105 The Yeasty Girls ROCK ON!

boring day....

2005-10-08T09:46:00.000-07:00

yay!!! Today goin to botanic garden for the 2nd time, nothing to do at home, yesterday just watch the newest movie from Lee dong Gun, quite ok for me better than Love of May, that movie really2 sucks. Feeling so great from finishing exam, nice weather, why not goin out? Too bad, I didn't got the atoz here, if not, I'll have my own adventure here.

visiting old memories and people

2005-10-07T14:40:00.000-07:00

I am very happy right now. yesterday day morning my mom told me my dad was going to manhattan, if u dont know i used to live in wamego, which is super close to manhattan. i have friends in both towns, so anyway. i ended up having to break some plans with friends to drive 3 and 1/2 hours to manhattan. when i drove through wamego it was exactly the same, and i knew every store, every street, etc. we drove past our old house and it made me kinda sad, but it was alright. then a lil bit later i was at my friends house. she is my best friend in manhattan ever! i love her so much, and when i got to her house she gave me a huge hug. background info, i hadnt seen her since i moved to parsons, so seeing her was amazing. crazy enough it was just like old times. i mean like her family is like my second family so im so comfortable their. so then we went an saw batman begins. i thought it was gonna be gay, but we had me, jordie, her bf and her brother. we ended up driving around, going to the mall and shocking some people by them seeing me, lol. yeah then we went to the movies, it was actually pretty good, but considering im really the only one who was paying attention to the movie, cough cough bubba and jordie, haha. then we went back to her house we stayed up until 2 talking about our boyfriends, highschool, and everything. i just love my girl so much it was just like i had never moved. then the next morning (today) we went to lunch, then i had to leave, tear tear. but it was really good seeing her and i cant wait till she comes and visits me. i drove back to parsons though and i was thinking about my old town and i about started crying, gosh. but im glad to be back you know. well gotta go. love me

Today is a good day

2005-10-07T09:40:00.000-07:00

Today, we received the notification that the paper I worked with zf got accepted by the best Security conference -- CCS. The reason that made us happy is not only the paper is accepted, but also the reviewer comments we got. All three reviewers strongly suggested it to be accepted and two of them also recommended it to JCS -- one of the best journal in security. We didn't get any major negative commentfrom the reviewers. They commented the paper as "great job", "well organized and written in an highly readable style", "excellent writing style", etc. --these wordsarereally "big" compliments for non-native English speakers like us. They gave us a lot of score 5's and the left are all 4's. Zf and I were really shocked when we got such good comments and ended up with reading the version we submitted again to see whether we were in the dream.

OMG!

2005-10-06T14:35:00.000-07:00

Today I called him twice and he wasn't home! The second time, his dad said that he was mowing the neighbor's yard so he might of gotten home late and didn't want to call me back that late. I don know though! LOL! I just hope that he calls back soon or at least before I go to Ohio! This time I left my number so I know he can call me! The first time i called i didn't even tell his mom my number so that was messed up! LOL!

Im back, if anyone cares.

2005-10-06T09:29:00.000-07:00

Howdy people. man, my typing has reduced its speed by like 50%! its so weird. i was actually hoping on coming back without everyone at eachothers throat. well mostly just april and jasmine, but still. i guess i didnt miss a whole lot so no biggie. *sigh* i miss spike. i met him at my hotel. he was hot. i managed to get a picture so i'll post it as soon as my mom developes the pictures. well i would tell you guys all about mexico but you probably dont want to hear it. so if you actually do want to give me a holla. does anyone know if we're going to a movie? i thought i heard the longest yard. and mr. and mrs. smith. i hope to god you guys saw longest yard! how dare yee watch mr. and mrs. smith without me! grrrrrr and i thought you people were my friends. phssssssss

I Am

2005-10-05T14:53:00.000-07:00

Church, It's Time To Go To The Sanctuary To Get A Fresh Perspective"A bad way leads to a bad end. The way of sin is the way to hell." - Adam Clarke Commentary "There are many great things, and things needful to be known, which will not be known otherwise than by going into the sanctuary of God, by the word and prayer. The sanctuary must therefore be the resort of a tempted soul...We must judge of persons and things as they appear by the light of divine revelation, and then we shall judge righteous judgment; particularly we must judge by the end. All is well that ends well, everlastingly well, but nothing well that ends ill, everlastingly ill. The righteous man's afflictions end in peace, and therefore he is happy; the wicked man's enjoyments end in destruction, and therefore he is miserable." - Matthew Henry's Commentary Notice what Pastor Henry said - "...we must judge by the end. All is well that ends well, everlastingly well, but nothing well that ends ill, everlastingly ill." Throughout the Scriptures, we discover such clauses as - "...whose end shall be..."(2 Corinthians 11:15)"Whose end is destruction..."(Philiippians 3:19)"...whose end is to be burned."(Hebrews 6:8)and "...what shall the end be..."(1 Peter 4:17). God certainly wants us to be concerned with the "end" of a thing rather than the beginning. The only true way to get a clear and honest perspective of it is to spend time with Him Who alone knows the end from the beginning.We find Asaph's experience in Psalm 73:16-17 - where his words are recorded pertaining to the prosperity of the ungodly - "When I thought to know this, it was too painful for me; Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then understood I their end." We see many False Prophets and Preachers arising in the land - and we need to ask ourselves - and what shall their end be?We see those whose mere profession of faith does not coincide with their conduct - and we cannot help but ask - and what shall their end be? There are those who are rejecting Christ and every manifestation of His grace to produce a change in their lives - and it is crucial that we ask - what shall their end be? The Apostle Peter informed us that "...judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?"(1 Peter 4:17)Both Paul and Peter concentrated on the "end" of a life of sin and rebellion toward God - and we must do the same - lest we be tempted to go a similar route. Let's examine the Scriptures a little closer to see exactly what they tell us about the heathen and the "end" that they can expect. 1. The Deceitful Workers & Their End 2 Corinthians 11:15 says - "Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works." We should not think it surprising that people of the basest character can put on an appearance of holiness and righteousness. There are many who are pretending to be great men and women of God - yet they are the "ministers of unrighteousness" - "deceitful workers"(2 Corinthians 13:15) - Satan's plants and tools in the Church. We must judge them by their end. What will it be? "...whose end shall be according to their works" - Because they seek to deceive God's precious people, they will get every bit of punishment that their wicked and evil deeds deserve. The Lord Jesus will see to it. 2. The Enemies Of The Cross & Their End Philippians 3:18-19 says - "(For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ: Whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things.)" Before describing these "enemies of the cross of Christ," Paul boldly and outrightly announced their end - "whose end is destruction." The destiny of these men or women was first and foremost on his mind. He pronounced it to be - perdition - everlasting punishment and destruction in Hell Fire. It isn't so much that they disputed the teaching of the Cross as they rejected its influence on their lives. Their "god was their belly." In other words, their physical appetites - which controlled and consumed them and they - in turn- indulged and gratified - were the supreme object of their concern. They boasted in shameful lusts which should have brought disgrace or humiliation. Their hearts were constantly set on "earthly things" like honor, gain, and pleasure. They gave their utmost attention to such matters - while totally negating the spiritual or heavenly in their lives. 3. The Mere Professors Of Christianity & Their End Hebrews 6:8 says - "But that which beareth thorns and briers is rejected, and is nigh unto cursing; whose end is to be burned." The writer of Hebrews compared those who experienced every attempt by God to make them holy and pure - were taught, admonished, rebuked, and afflicted yet continued to love and practice sin and entertain evil passions and lusts in their hearts - to a land or field that yielded only thorns, briers, or noxious weeds. These people are rejected by God and given up as useless, unimprovable, and devoted to the fires of destruction. Their "end" is unto burning - an allusion made here to the Oriental and Roman custom among agriculturalists to burn barren land filled with weeds, thorns, or underbrush. "...whose end shall be according to their works." "Whose end is destruction...""...whose end is to be burned" "...particularly we must judge by the end..."All around us - we see the ungodly prospering and seemingly "getting away with murder" while the righteous are suffering all sorts of troubles, heartache, suffering, and pain. The Apostle Peter prophesied - "For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?" (1 Peter 4:17)Severe trials, tests, calamities, corrections, afflictions, and distresses are at hand and upon the righteous to determine character as well as the validity, nature, or worth of each profession of faith. But the day is coming when unspeakable torments and awful doom will come upon the wicked for their open transgression of God's Holy Law. "...particularly we must judge by the end..."The only way that we will be able to keep the above truth in perspective is if we do as Asaph did and frequent "the sanctuary of God" - the place where He manifests His presence - whether it be a public place or a private one set apart for prayer, confession of sin, meditation, and the study of His Word. It is there where we will glimpse - with an enlightened eye - into the impending doom, ruin, and destruction intended for the wicked - despite their great prosperity at the present time- "Until I went into the sanctuary of God: then understood I their end." So many today are not understanding the "end" of a course of life from the beginning because they are not entering into the "holy place" where God resides. Resultantly, we have people in the world as well as in the Church who are living contrary to the Word and seemingly not swayed by it in the slightest. They go merrily along their way - thinking that their life of sin and pleasure will last forever. "...The way of sin is the way to hell.""A bad way leads to a bad end." Hence, let us "judge righteous judgment" - let us "judge by the end." May God Bless His Word. Connie

J.p! (wpchts!!!)

2005-10-05T09:41:00.000-07:00

now now wot can i say! bout mi wonderful posh crazyhounslow toddler star!!! he is completey mad!! lol also knows how 2 make me laugh! he is goin 2 take me 2 a drug habiliatation centre!! n tryin 2 make me go on a tea diet!!! he always trys 2 say im betta dan gem! but sorry j.p i jst disagree n so does every 1 else!! i member da days wen u hung around wid aaron sait n got the bus widthose things!! cnt say otherwise u get mad lol or embarssed!!!lol!!! i say u looked cute! lol n den wen we went 2 beths bbq n had the flippin tomatoe fite!!! n got tomato pips n juice on mi white top!!!neva 4give u Juls n Nick 4 dat!! he acts sum tyms like a dad!! lol has 2 check if boiz r rite 4 me! n always always gives me advice!! 1 thing i must add I AM NOT DIRTY!! totally wrong j.p is da most dirtyest person i kno! coz every thing i say e turns in 2 sumfink dirty!!! always thinkin im avin dirty thoughts! which i dnt! lol n also mr song man! sendin me slow jamz!! all da tym soo thank u m8! lol also such a poser!! love takin pics dnt ya!!! lol but i aint rele seen a bad 1 of u yet! soo keep sendin (not dat im lookin 4 a bad 1!) also i beat him at every thing! e trys 2 say e wins! but if e does it on a rare occasion! lol also e got this thing bout feltham n hounslow! but like i sed donkey woods is felthams!! lol n wel i wil let u ave dat golf course thing!! but the side of da rive u got is ware da druggies sit n da dead fish r!!!n a thing wen mi comp aint workin its all bou felthams connections! lol or wen e goes out wid his hounslow boiz causin havoc!!! lol he he or wen we do those storys lol kt accepts j.p is wonderin wot etc!!! lol he he or kt chases j.p n throws honey on him n gets attacked by wasps!!! lol lol also this boi likes 2 say how i ignore him at skl!!! not rele mr!!! u always busy wid ya boiz!!! 2 even notice poor me is even dere!!! n how u always threatern me wid da scream mask!!! sayin ur cumin 2 mi bedroom window or mi house!!! scarey!!!! lol like new years!!! i had 2 hide from it!!! n how we all boogied away!! lol n the prom after parti!!! u lully buyin me mi drinks!!! n den tryin 2 steal mi draw from me!! so im sorry the nails had 2 b dug!!! n u tryin 2 say i sed i quit!!! ur mad!!! lol lol n how we love rustler burgers!!! lol mmmm tastey hey!! me n j.p r goin on a trip 2 africa 2 visit the monkeys! lol but rele j.p u kno we love 2 share gossip! see ppl think i dnt no alot! but rele i do!! i kno i can trust u wid dat secret of mine!! im always here 4 u2 ave a chat or give u sum advice lol!!! or jst a big hug 2 cheer u up! n basically u no u can trust me! n i can trust u!!! :) ur ma dude member!! well mi darlin i cnt think of ne more but ofc wen i do i wil update!! lol soo Mr Jonathan Terrance -------- Patterndon!!! lots of love n hugs n kisses xxx katy -wid a y! lol member u silly willy!! lolxxxxxxxx

Second Day

2005-10-04T14:29:00.000-07:00

Helllloooo everyone....so I'm kinda upset cause Adam was the first one to read my blog and he made fun of it..thanks adam..i appreciate it..lol. just kidding. so im eating right now..my favorite pastime activity while waiting for morgan to get online like he promised me. today i had a student council meeting in which nobody showed up so im mad about that and then i had guard which was good so im all better. i leave for band camp sunday and im excited just to get away from the scott county drama. lol.. ok so heres my quote for the day which adam made me use because he loves when i say this...and it is.... "Pretty tough!" P.S. Thanks for the advice Kayla...and for leaving me a comment!

how to defeat google

2005-10-04T09:35:00.000-07:00

make an equivalent search engine as google's combine it with thehungersite.com's idea of giving food for free get the bono.com domain name from U2'sfrontman So, the basic idea is to search and save the world at the same time using other people's money. How? Get the advertisers to pay for it! Have 5% of the advertising dollars go to non-profit organizations and the rest for search database upkeep and R&D. Display the amount givenon the webpage (user contribution,global contribution and target contribution). Then name the search engine bono.com. Easy to remember, short and represents the good idea :) Thoughts? -Joseph

Freedom

2005-10-03T14:29:00.000-07:00

Freedom, some think it is an impossible achievement, but it is possible, Freedom is achievable because it is God's gift to the world. Freedom is the gift that people die everyday for. Freedom is what I stand for. Equallity and rights FOR ALL!!!!!

Busy?

2005-10-03T09:34:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys, I just got back from cold lake and i am bored. So if anyone wants to go swimming during the week or anything, I'm game. Also I want to go to the EX with some friends, Anybody availible?

Reading Angels and Demons

2005-10-02T14:32:00.000-07:00

Finally finished reading Dan Brown's Angels and Demons. The Da Vinci Code was his another book that I read. If you like The Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons is a must-read! This novel's theme is to put science and religion together. Scientists are always looking for ways to disapprove the existence of God, while Christians believe that "God is behind every door of scientists discover". I'm not saying I agree with either side, it is a fiction, not a history book (and we know even a country can write wrong history into history books). But the setting is so dark, so mysterious, so romantic. Dan Brawn aimed not to give you a chance to breathe. He is a master writing thrillers. If you want to read this book, I strongly recommend buying the illustrated version. I want to go to the Vantican City to see the story setting in front of my eyes. Let me know if you have any comments about this book! To know more about this book, here is the webpage: http://www.danbrown.com/novels/angels_demons/reviews1.html

Lindy Diary

2005-10-02T09:36:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, this week has been like sooo boring, becauseI haven't had any Voleyball camps lately. But I do have a league that I play in. It's really fun you get to play 2 games, keep score of a game, and do the lines (in & out). You go on Tuesdays and Thursdays! Most people ask me what I do by myself during this week, well I watch some TV, IM people, get online & search about things, and thats about it! So if you are bored too, just give me a call! thanks 4 readin my journal hoop307@hotmail.com P.S. EVERYONE ONE WHO READS THIS HAVE A HAPPY JULY 4TH ON MONDAY!

getting started

2005-10-01T14:41:00.000-07:00

As of now, some things in my life are going rough, I might use this as like a personal diary, im still not sure, though things with my family arnt going well either, I'll do my best to keep this updated

The 40-Year-Old Omen

2005-10-01T09:32:00.000-07:00

I was going to write this on Sunday but I might be too depressed to do it... First of all: this is not a reminder for you to wish me a happy birthday. In fact, please, don't. I want to spend my day feeling sorry for wasting 20 years of my life and having a happy birthday would ruin my plans for the day. Isn't it too much coinscidence that the same week that is inaugurated by my birthday a new movie is coming out, and the name of the movie is The 40-Year-Old Virgin? Talk about an omen! Look at me! As from Sunday a 20 year old, and still Never Been Kissed. Why's that? Because I'm a big, fat tub of lard who's too repulsive to even be seen, which is why I never post my pictures online - wouldn't want to scare away my readers, would I? Well, the character in this movie is a 40-year-old man who's still a virgin (just in case you hadn't figured it out from the title). I'm half his age, with virgin lips, which tells me I'm on the same track. He works at a comic book shop, sorrounded by comics. What's my major? Comic books! And I get sorrounded by them once in a while, not to mention that I draw them all the time - and I'm not even that good... In the movie the virgin's friends find out that he actually is dating a divorced woman with children, but they made an agreement of no sex. Something tells me that's the kind of lady I'm going to end up meeting. A woman who always fucked the wrong men and when she meets me it will be too late, and I'm going to be the dumbass who will have to take care of her stupid-ass children! Watch the movie! That's my future! Go to the theater and laugh at how pathetic I am! Come on! You know there's something wrong with me! Even if you say anything to try to make me feel better you can't deny the shock you received when you first read the fourth sentence in the second paragraph! That's me! That's shit! I'm shit!!! That movie could be my story, and you know what? I deserve it! Because I'm a big, fat tub of lard!

Spiritual Heat/ news 8/20-05

2005-09-30T14:40:00.000-07:00

~DBENEWS! Getting N Da KNOW~ (August 20, 2005 7am-8amPST) Greetings from DBE once againgetting u n the KNOW of the DBE..yesterday was a decent day. I had to go to work, but there has been news reporters all over my block like crazy due to the tragedy. I actually came home early cause my family needed me through all of this. We have spent a lot of time out my the memorial site remembering this little 2 yr old that never got a chance to know life. I can not go into details about this, but what I can say is that there was an Ice Cream truck involved and the little girl was headed to the truck when this even accured. Now, the guy that was driving the vechicle at the time left the sceen. If only he would have stayed and waited for the police to come and be on the seen with him, he would be facing no charges right now, but since he did. He now face a mountain of issues that could take a lot of his life away. I do not know the family name, but I do know that the little girls name is Paloma and she is 2 yrs old I think. Her family needs serious prayer. Her mother just gave birth to another new born 2 days before this happen. So, you cant even begin to imagen the feelings going through her right now. I have been interview and I was on the news telling the people of Las Vegas you need to settle this craziness down. I say once againLIFE IS TOO DAMN SHORT to be so damn stupid. The DBE and company and familys prayers go out to this little girl and her own family and may everyone that reads this posting prayer for her family as well.... AND NOW U R IN THE KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RRAH Ent & WeST Ministries Presents: Spiritual Heat -Todays Message- "Which Way 2 Go" Thought of the Day: Christ must be vitally real to us if we are to remain faithful to Him in the hour of crisis. And who knows how near that hour maybe? Things are happening fast! The need for a turning to God has never been so urgent. Romans 13:14 "But clothe yourself with the Lord Jesus Christ (the messiah) and make no provision for (indulging) the flesh (put a stop to thinking about the evil cravings of your physical nature) to (gratify its) desires (Lusts). (AMP) Related Scriptures: Gal 3:27/ Eph 4:24/ Col 3:10,12/ Gal 5:24 Dangerous Beyond Education (DBE) CEO/ Producer and Artist of R.R.A.H Entertainment, Inc. PLEASE SIGN THE GUEST BOOK MGD Monday Night Devotional 8/22/05 Attention: This BLOG/Session is intended to educate and spiritual help those in an open minded mind frame. This in no means is a religious subjective ministry. WeSt Ministries is a non-denominational ministry with Christian roots. Be aware that this doctrine is strictly to help the Spiritual life style and it motivates positive thinking! B.T.W: if any of the views of this B.L.O.G have questions. Feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer them. If any of these sessions are in requestjust let me know what day it was in detail and we will send you a copy (c) 2005 RRAH Entertainment, Inc. WeSt Ministries, MGD and MGD Lil Lite are all subsidiaries of RRAH Ent, Inc. All rights reserved. All and any coping of these transcripts is totally unappreciated without consent of DBE, DBENEWS and WeST Ministries.........TYDBE

A long one - watch out

2005-09-30T09:36:00.000-07:00

It's been a while. I'm putting it down to holiday lethargy and hoping I can leave my distinct lack of bloggage at that. So much to tell! I suppose the best place to start is what I've been up to for this past week and a half: The Zoo To celebrate the beginning of our term 2 holidays, the group (consisting this time of Ivan, Gina, Becky, Nathan, Chelsea, Mouse, Dominique, Ben and I) decided to have a picnic at the Zoo. The Hamilton Zoo's beautiful, and I'll upload some photos as soon as some become available to me. We got to see the tigers fed, the chimps recreation...ed, and to generally wander around the place a few hours. The food was fantastic, ranging from chicken and French bread to citrus tart, cake and biscuits, jam tarts, whipped cream, Lemon Lime & Bitters, ginger beer, and many other lovelies. The best part was the unity, though, having everyone together and having a great time running all over the show and generally enjoying each others' company. I walked away from that with a daisy behind my ear which still sits on my desk. My Birthday Monday was a lovely day, really just spent lazing around and relaxing. I'm going be materialistic, though, and list all of my neat-o presents. Before leaving school Louise gifted me precisely what I was hoping for - hippie presents. I'm now the proud owner of two incense sticks (one signifying Wealth, the other Hope) and a Wish Bag. The wish bag's particularly interesting. Apparently if I write down a wish, place it inside the bag, repeat a mantra and place it somewhere I see it everyday my wish will come true. Thanks Louise, you're awsome. Susan (my sister) and David (brother-in-law) gave me Trvial Pursuit for the Playstation 2 and Civilization III which was very nice of them. I think this is the first year Sue's given me a present, too. Thanks sis. Stephen (my brother) sent me a card from Aucklad with $100 inside. Needless to say I was jolly happy - gave him a call that evening and it was nice to speak to him again. Thanks Bean. The folks shocked the pants off've me and gave me a sterio! It's super sexy if I do say so myself and I promise to upload a photo or two just as soon as we can get another cable to upload pictures to our computer (the old one bust). Mum, Arth, I really appreciate it. Becky gave me a copy of HAIR, which has withstood repeated viewings and will likely endure more as I prepare to review it later on. Thanks Becky, it was perfect. Ray sent me a fantastically sweet email which brightened up my day -- thanks bud. Chelsea sent me a wicked Mathsman email which, also, put a smile on my dial. Nathan's Ecard made me feel rather special also. Jen's blog dedication was wonderful, thanks blogbuddy! (Jen's fantastic blog can be found here.) I also received many well wishes that week. I count myself so lucky to be surrounded with such caring people. Thanks guys. The Gathering During our Zoo trip, Chelsea announced her intention to have a gathering around at her place on Tuesday where all of her different groups of friends could meet (ever popular, our Chelsea). This also meant a chance to finally meet the elusive Hamish, member of the Guys Without Ties and Chelseas boyfriend. Fate had always had it that whenever we were about to meet circumstance would dictate otherwise - great guy, fantastic guitarist. Chelseas place had it all garage with couches and mats to hang (Im so cool), a barbeque and many delicious confectionary/chip and drink shaped items, and a playground (Adventure Park, I believe) in easy walking distance. Everyone seemed to get on well, which was naturally a plus, and I think overall everyone had a good time. A good time, that is, until I came to leaving. Making my rounds hugging various individuals, I managed to unwittingly hit a certain fragile someone in the nose. When I next looked Chelsea had tears in her eyes dammit Im a clumsy idiot! I called her the next day and discovered that she was feeling alright and that my horrid display of horridness (yeah, sure, I past NCEA Inglish) didnt interfere with the defiling of a certain park in the Flagstaff area. Yes thats right, Im a party pooper and left before any streaking took place. Sorry to disappoint, folks. Incidentally, photos should soon be available for this excursion, too. The 5/6 Party In English this year our class is studying Edward Scissorhands (directed by Tim Burton, starring Johnny Depp) as our extended visual text. After being given the task of completing all 150 context questions in our Scissorhands resource book (thats one every 40 seconds in the movie!) Pippa (a friend of mine in said 5/6 class and a fantastic swimmer) and I realised that perhaps this was a group job. With much networking we managed to get 20 out of a possible 24 (others still were out of the country) to turn up to Pippas place and get the job done. A great time was had by all, no little thanks to the pool table in the rumpus room we used. We even invented a new game (with only minor injuries): Extreme Hand Pool. Oh yeah, and we got most of the questions done as well, which was a bonus. All I have left to do now is make my answers look pretty and try to remember the answers to those I wasnt fast enough to write down as the movie progressed. Pippas been at a swim meet/camp for this past week as far as I know. In September she goes to Japan to compete in the junior commonwealth games, I believe. Best of luck Music Buddy! Holiday Homework Mainly in the form of a significant History assignment worth eight credits overall (it comprises two individual standards one for research, the other for reporting - each worth four credits). The good students that we are (pah!), Thomas, Josh, Keely, Pei-Ren, Ben, Lucy and I got together this Tuesday to do some group research at the Hamilton Central Library. We got some good microfiche printouts of newspapers from the mid 60s (The Waikato Times, for those of you playing at home) as well as some handy information from a lot of the Vietnam reference materials on the third floor. To our dismay the Hansards (our assignment investigates New Zealands eventual decision to join the Vietnam War and whether or not it was the right choice) provided disappointingly little information, which was a surprise considering the gravity of New Zealands decision. Theres a peculiar irony in that we found five months worth of debate over the price of beer and yet surprisingly little reference to the situation in Southeast Asia perhaps a tribute to our poor research skills. Josh crashed at my place that night, keen "to spend one night away from home these holidays", so we grabbed some movies (The incredibly good Motorcycle Diaries and, for convienient contrast, the appauling horror flick Feardotcom. I also subjected him to a viewing of HAIR, which was apparently unlike anything he'd seen. Glad to be of service. And so the holidays begin to draw to a close - tomorrow is, I suppose, officially the last day. My time after tonight will be pretty much dedicated to getting through the mound of homework I've put off until now. I like lists, so here you go: Revise for Science: An easy one, just go through and read the section we're going to begin next week, doing a few of the excercises along the way. Algebra: Much the same as Science, but of my own volition. I don't quite understand algebraic patterning as fully as I should, and I'm pretty sure next term we're moving on to another unit. Edward Scissorhands Context Questions: Make it look good, possibly rewatch the movie. Drama: Melodrama, to be exact. I wanted to script our performance these holidays so that when we got back my group would have something concrete to work with. History: The big one. I basically need to revise CD, Textbook, microfiche printouts and photocopies, and try to get the research section out of the way. Thankfully this one isn't due until the end of next week, so the 800 word report doesn't have to take priority this weekend if I don't have time. New things on the horizon for the blogging front, also. It appears I've found myself a new blogbuddy - a Kiwi clinician living presently in Hong Kong. His blog is interesting and insightful, while at the same time personal and honest. Take a peek here. Another friend has also started blogging - I invite you to check out Keely's World if you're game. Looks as though blogging is becoming more popular. I've realised that with the advent of being gifted a (super-sexy) stereo, it stands to reason I should try to expand my CD collection. This seems to be the time to do it too, as there are so many great new albums out at the moment. Now, rather than having any sound opinion of my own (heaven forbid) I've decided to leave my selection pretty much in your hands and test out the idea of featuring a poll on my blog. If all goes well this time, I might try fiddling around with www.basicpoll.com sometime, but for now I'm gonna go for the makeshift look. The albums I'm seriously considering are: Rob Thomas - Something to be Coldplay - X & Y Finn Brothers - Everyone is here Foo Fighters- In Your Honour Jack Johnson- In Between Dreams Gorrillaz- Demon Days Here's how (I'm hoping) it's going to work: Readers would be so kind as to include in their comments their recommendation and coaxe friends into doing the same. At regular intervals, I'll update the "poll" section you'll find sitting at the top of this blog. This system means that polls can remain up indefinately, new entrys easily noted as all new comments are brought to my attention no matter which entry they hail from thanks to the wonder that is MSN Spaces (but we knew all of this, didn't we?). Just hit the poll name to be brought to this very entry and drop in a comment. {<Edit> Scrap that. Polls will only last for a set time (in this case three weeks, probably) until a winner is declared and they are deleted. Working with custom lists is getting finickie - I think basicpolls.com might be the solution for the next one. The premise still works though, guys, don't get me wrong. Please, do vote vote vote. <End Edit>} And so we reach the end of what is, in all essence, a mammoth catchup blog. Thanks for putting up with me and my sporadic entries over this holiday period, it'll soon be over. What I'm reading: The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown The Va Dinci Cod - A.R.R.R. Roberts The Fires of Heaven - Robert Jordan What I'm listening to: Lovecats - The Cure Words to remember: 'First they told us the world is flat, then they told us the world is round, now they (quantumn physicists) tell us it doesn't even exist!' - Today's quote from my newest blogbuddy (once again, his blog here). Pet Projects: Possibility of a fictional blog Icybrian's Fanfiction Thanks all Scot

Broken Hearts Club

2005-09-29T14:30:00.000-07:00

Song playing now: My Tambourine- Wild Orchid Random Fact: Did you know that camel's milk doesn't curdle? So there were nomadic tribes who couldn't use the milk for cheese and apparently the UN tried to do something to allow the cheese to curdle...not sure if it worked or not. Imagine not having any cheese!!! That would be Hell! Although I don't know if I'd be fond of camel cheese...I wonder if I could milk my cat to make cheese. Ugh- nasty! Have you ever seen the Broken Hearts Club? My work softball team, the Blue Chips, is about as bad as the team in the movie. We lost our game tonight: 26-3. They put me at third base. I was a nervous wreck the entire night. Luckilythe beer I drank calmed my nerves. We had no subs, half of us were hurt (I had a follow-up doctor's appointment for my hoof, in which he told me to not play softball or basically walk...) and we were just lacking that fire under our asses. But what are you gonna do? Linda, James and I went to Caldonia's after the game...drank too much and chatted about work and other things. It was a nice time. My arch-nemesis was at the bar. I'm sure he's a nice guy...but he always beats me in trivia, so I'm not fond of him. I chatted with some folks online when I got home. Hadn't talked to Ty in probably a year! Also chatted with Seth- he seems like such a nice guy. Linda and I also exchanged drunken messages. Derek is loving San Francisco and is excited and nervous for Pride this weekend. I imagine it's crazy there. Suzie got back from Chicago sothank Godshe'll be in at work tomorrow. I have tons to do tomorrow, so I should hit the hay. Oh- apparently I live in the ghetto. The last few days have been pretty violent in my neighborhood. A couple nights ago, a young guy and his friend were murdered at the intersection in front of Linda's apartment...just down the street from my place. The guy was supposed to testify in a murder trial. Shot six times. And then the next night there was a shooting at the Aurora mall, in which two more people died. I'm glad Linda decided to cart my ass to the gym rather than go dress shopping for her class reunion! We are apparently right in the mix of things here. And what's even more odd is that there are five or six churches surrounding Linda's apartment...you'd think it would be a safer neighborhood. And last Friday we were going through the Taco Bell drive thru at 1 a.m. and we swore we heard gun shots, but just chalked it up to a truck backfiring. Come to find out, there was an incident reported that same night at the bar next to the Taco Bell (involving the guy who ended up being murdered a few days later at the intersection). Maybe we really did hear gun shots afterall! We'll just have to watch our backs and hit the deck. Song playing now: He's Got You On His Mind- The Subdudes

Winners & Losers Q2 '05

2005-09-29T09:38:00.000-07:00

If you are looking to make a career-change, here's a list of companies that made the list of winners & losers in Q2 '05: (according to BusinessWeek August 22/29, pp. 46-47) WINNERS/LOSERS:(winners on the left (by rank), losers on the right) 1. Exxon Mobil /UAL 2. CitiGroup/ Delta Air Lines 3. GE / Charter Communications 4. Bank of America / Time Warner 5. Microsoft / GM 6. Chevron / Calpine 7. Pfizer / Eli Lilly 8. ConocoPhillips / Northwest Airlines 9. Altria Group / Fairchild Semiconductor Intl. 10.J&J / Qwest Communications 11.Wal-Mart / Eastman Kodak 12.Verizon / Micron Technology 13.Intel / Liberty Media 14.Wells Fargo / Sara Lee 15.IBM / Mattel

Got nearly everything I wanted done this summer -- with time to spare

2005-09-28T09:42:00.000-07:00

Okay -- so for the last 4 hours or so I've been working dilligently on my scrapbook with pics and such from my freshman year. Getting this scrapbook done was one of my goals for the summer. I got nearly everything done: wrote a script, catalogued my writing, scrapbook, got a hard copy of all the family information off my computer, and took a vacation (even if it was with the band as a chaperone -- I still went somewhere somewhat exotic that wasn't here). My 'far' out there goals for the summer: write a novel (haha -- ya right, maybe in five years) and get some (just kidding ) I even practiced some -- but it so wasn't my fault that I couldn't for the last month or so because my saxophone went psycho and wouldn't play -- it's still in the shop and I got my wisdom teeth out two weeks ago and didn't want to blow my stiches out -- haha -- plus I tried to play a few days ago and it still irritated my gums. But yeah -- anyways -- happy that I wrote some this summer and I did have a very interesting and eye opening experience with the marching band this summer. And I still have a week to spare -- move in is next Sunday -- not ready to move back and get into the school mode again -- grrr...I enjoy working and doing little odd jobs around the house -- I might not like working at the Bronk's but I do enjoy making money. Oh and the pic proves that I did at least play my saxophone once this summer

Hey Guys

2005-09-27T14:46:00.000-07:00

Hello well i had allison and erin stay and we had fun... we watched movies and ate food and watched tv talked on teh phone and talked on the computer well we had fun and stuff..well g2g bye Janae

What is a parent to do?.......

2005-09-27T09:39:00.000-07:00

I have a definite dilema here and I need some level headed people to talk to, so please hear me out. I'm having a late night, just playing a little online poker and watching Insomniac on Comedy Central, relaxing. Anyway, I go in the kitchen to get me a little late night snack and who do I see on the couch watching Uncut on B.E.T.? My 10 year old daughter (she's a night owl like her daddy). For any of you that may be unaware of what Uncut is, hmmm, it's the raunchiest, most gutter hip-hop videos that are allowed to be on television without being on a pay station. Nothing but booty-shaking and the extreme exploitation of women, especially Black women. Let me put it to you this way, while I was in prison, we would wake up just to watch these videos because they were the closest thing to pornos that we could see. Are you following me now? I used to be worried that my daughter would be a snob. We live in a very high brow, nose-in-the-air type of neighborhood, you know? Myself, I'm a Gangster. Gold teeth, tattoos, long hair past my shoulders and built solid from years of weight lifting. My neighbors still get nervous when I'm out cutting my grass, or taking out the garbage and I've lived here without incident for more than two years. But I am getting off my point....... Last year, my daughter and her friends, which by the way refer to themselves as "The Rich Kids Club", that's the reason why I figured she would be a snob, were regular. I didn't even think she liked rap music, other than Bow Wow, or other bubblegum rappers and now this! I saw her watching 50 Cent before, but that was on MTV, so I didn't pay much attention to it. Am I being a hypocrit? My generation invented "Gangster Rap" and I would ride around blasting the curse words out the windows while I was waiting at stop lights and laugh as the people in their cars would look at me with absolute disgust. Is this poetic justice? I talked to her and explained that those women are likely strippers and if not that, then just skanky, so don't pay any attention to that garbage. I also said that show isn't appropriate for anyone her age and she assured me that she was just channel surfing on her way back to the Disney Channel, yeah right. Here's another reason that I might be a bit of a hypocrit. I have 2 sons, one's 12 and the other is 8 and they both are momma's boys. My daughter is the gangster!! Crap!! I think if I saw one of my sons watching that I would probably have sat down with a grin from ear to ear and giggled with him while we watched the booty's shake, but not my little Angel! Not daddy's little Princess! Is it possible tofeelgray hairs sprouting through the roots? It can't be time to get the boyfriend bat out already, can it? Am I overreacting parents? Are there any fathers out there with a daughter that can feel my fear? Is it too late to apologize to all the women I said I would call?I didn't tell you that she asked me to get her a cell phone the other day too. I told her when she gets 13. Is that right? Do you mean to tell me that I can walk through a maximum security prison, laugh and do the time fairly easily and I'm going to be brought down by a 10 year old girl?! Oooohh,I think my heart is palpatating and I feel a stroke coming on. Like Fred Sanford would say, "This is the big one!!"

I'm such a freak!

2005-09-26T09:31:00.000-07:00

I was wrighting this entry about this 2 brothers. I wrote sooooo, totally, sooo many stuff about them. And cuz of my damn, stupid clumsy personality made me deleted the whole thing! And i am toooo lazy to write it over! So just to let UU, the reader know, how clumsy i am! It would be soo stupid if the brothers are reading! I always humiliate myself! Bye 2 brothers K.U.G Your friend, Vannie

School...

2005-09-25T14:34:00.000-07:00

Hey! Guess what!! School starts Thursday!!!(Now I ask myself whyI put exclamation points after that...) I'm going to the Phil Vassar concert at the fair on Sunday and am super excited about it!!!!!!!(Now that is worthy of the exclamation points!!!!) We continue post camp next week, meaning less time at the fair, which sucks.Ummm...tennis is awesome. I made the team (please don't hate me) and we have 3 matches next week...Thursday is against Elida...and we'll see who wins. We played Whitmer last week and me and Megan Farley won our match 8-5. And that is all there is to say...oh, and if you have health/keyboarding 2nd period or physics 6th period, please tell me!

...

2005-09-24T13:45:00.000-07:00

hm, well its sunday...exactly one month ago i was on the plane flying to nicaragua. DATO...jus sumn a lil personal, hehe. And now im supposedly studying for a math test i have, or reading don quijote, or building a dna model..but instead of doing that...im making a blog entry..progressive ey? Aside from school..not much is going on. Today copa copec (soccer tournament was supposed to begin) but it was cancelled because the stadium didnt give the sponsors the fields..lol. So that got postponed for 2 more weeks...better for us so we can train : ) And...thats about it for now...jus a lil shout out for everyone : ) peace

yahoo music unlimited

2005-09-24T08:38:00.000-07:00

subscribed yahoo music unlimited service today in a heartbeat. For 5 dollars a month you get unlimited access to 1 million songs.. absurd price. this subscription model was started by Napster and it charges 15 dollars/month. go get it, it's hot.. and most importantly, this price won't last long.. yahoo is burning cash to get Napster and Real out of business, then will hike up the price. Get the one year subscription now when you still can. spend 50 bucks and experiment with digital music for a year.. good deal p.s. stay,,eminem

Mico earns Apprentice Water Dog Title

2005-09-23T13:32:00.000-07:00

Bella sends her heartiest congratulations to Mico who earned his Apprentice Water Dog title today at the PWD Club of the Twin Cities trial in Minnesota. Peg Thomas handled, and Jill Gilbert judged. Mico is now Ch Peja Comico Cabrito CD AWD. Way to go! These puppies are swimming already.

Super Summer

2005-09-23T08:47:00.000-07:00

hey yall well im back from NY it was fun and very hot. lots of walkin lol!!! Well sunday brooke matt and nick came over and we went swimming and had a slip and slide witch was really fun but it kinda hurts lol. lol then we played with my fat cat lol matts mom is just amazed by him lol well other then that ive been doin nothin so wut ya been up to anything good well im out Becca

12

2005-09-22T13:29:00.000-07:00

12VICHY S1 +++ 8 loreal hydrafresh -- ++ 7 clinique ++ 9 guerlain ++ 7.5 dior hydra move ++ 7 biotherm +++ 8.5 H2O 8 clarins +++pca 8.5 lancome + 8 EL hydra complete 8.5 ysl spf8 9 HR 8.5 lorealvichycliniquebiothermlancomehr diorguerlainysl clarins H2OEL

^rrived

2005-09-22T08:43:00.000-07:00

This is my first message for this blog... hum... actually nothing to say, just concentrate on the picture right there please... See throughtheEarth- Moon is not that nice

Daft Ramblings

2005-09-21T13:32:00.000-07:00

Okay let's see if I can get this one this time. My third try here. Those damn ID10T errors. I went to look at two houses today on my lunch break. One would be affordable on my own and the other affordable with a roommate. The first one,well let's just say I wasn't getting the warm fuzzies from the neighbor"hood". I did get to see the inside and it was quite reminiscent of the first place I had on my ownyears ago. Don't be fooled by the reminiscent part. It was not in a good way. I had thoughts rushing back of 'oh no duck, what the hell is that?' Holy crap it's termite swarmming season. The other was in a nice neighborhood. But it's only two bedrooms and I am not sure I can ask Tet to do that. That would leave no room for the kids. Don't think I can be that selfish, even though she has graciously said it would be okay. Okay so back at the office, let me just interrupt and say I love my job. It is the least stressful position I have ever had. And all the guys are finally starting to relax around me. I am the only female in my department. I have told them 'say what you got to say', it's not going to bother me. As long as you are not verbally abusing me, it's fine. I have pretty much heard it all and I am sure some of it has come out of my mouth before too. So, one of my tasks is to key in daily reports from different jobs. Nothing elaborate but sometimes amusing. Typing along I get to 'present activity' and there are such comments as 'nippling up', 'nippling down'. Sometimes I just have to stop and have a little giggle. Now anyone in the industry can tell you this is not off color wordage. These activities do take place. But sometimes I have to say hhhhmmm. I mean can you imagine on the actual job site 'hey man, can you get me those nipples?' 'Sure what size would you like?' Yes I am a chic but hey I'm not exempt from the occasional perverse thought.

The sadness & Lonliness

2005-09-21T08:35:00.000-07:00

Well here it is a month to the day that you left this earth. I am still in shock and still can't graps why you were taken away from all of us that love you, and I guess I never really will. I had a very hard time today, knowing that a month ago today I lost the love of my life. I lost the One Man that loved me unconditionally and whole heartedly. I can't even begin to explain the emotions that I have been through since June 29,2005 but today, oh today was horrible. I couldn't stop thinking about that day, and how my life had changed forever. How I would never be able to have you hold me in your big strong arms ever again, how I would never see you smile that special smile that only I got to see when you would look at me and tell me you loved me. My heart is sobroken,my spirit isdamaged, and I find it hard to keep my head up sometimes.I can't stand this lonliness and sadness that surrounds me,it lingers over my head. I know that I can't have you back, I know that you are in such a wonderful place and I know you wouldn't come backfor NOTHING! No matter how much love you have for all of us. But just when I am ready togive up and let all this sadness overtake me, I get a call from POP. Your dad& Catherin have been such a blessing to me.I pray for peace and understanding for everyone who was touched by your life and by your death. You will never know how much you were loved by so many people and how missed you are today.I will forever love you Craig Chandler

Land of the Working Stiffs

2005-09-20T08:29:00.000-07:00

Ahhh. Monday. The traffic, the smell of exhaust in the early morning humidity...and I am back among the "living". Actually I feel Like I am hovering between official zombie-hood and just out and out walking dead. While I am no longer feverish, and can contain the food that I eat...I am still "not right". You know that "just out of synch" feeling? And I will admit to a certain whistfulness about leaving the sanctuary of my home...I have not stepped outside of our property since Wednesday when I got home ill. I like being home. I really really need to buy a lotto ticket and win, so I can afford the luxury of solitude. I would have enjoyed Superman's "fortress of solitude". I need to recharge from too much exposure to the harmful rays of humanity. The only downside of being so sick these last few days was I couldn't focus to read. The fever makes it hard to concentrate on reading. Didn't watch much tv either. Mostly slept and watched my pc reboot itself repeatedly. No, I am not obsessively rebooting, there is a fault somewhere in the machine and it randomly reboots, sometimes during its own reboot sequence, sometimes just when I am thinking about how I need to update some pages on some of the websites I have out there. We're calling it possessed. Works with the theme here. Sometimes I think there is something insidiously demonic about the rhythms of working - like there is some ritual being performed in a horrible B Horror flick. Something definitey "Lovecraftian" about this. I suppose I should get ready to go. Be safe out there...don't forget your prayers.

Newspaper interview, donation boxes for tornado victims

2005-09-19T13:48:00.000-07:00

I got to thinking maybe others in my community would like to donate to help the people in Wright who lost everything in the tornado. So I called our local newspaper to see if anyone or one of the churches had set up a donation box. Nobody has, sooooooooo I told the report that I was going to and I would deliver the things up there. She suggested I get my ducks in a row then she could run a story on it. Then I called my bank to see if they would allow me to put boxes in their lobby for donations-I can! Now Im making posters and need to get some boxes for the three bank branches in my area. I hope others will donate things such as dishes, pots/pans, non perishable food, and toiletries. I know when the tsunami hit Asia we felt so sad for all the people who lost their loved ones and everything they owned. We donated some money yet never felt like we really made difference. Doing this since it's so close to home will be so much more gratifying for us. Just think if something happened to your home and you lost everything. What do you feel you'd need the most? Id want a coffee pot and scrapbooks LOL. Of course, pictures and my scrapbooks would be irreplaceable items. M said her bed while T said his Legos. I dont know how much of these people's stuff is salvageable. Maybe nothing, which means 80 families have to start totally over! How sad. M said she would help and that maybe it could count toward a Brownie badge? I dont know. But Im glad the kids are enthusiastic about this. Tomorrow I'm off to find some boxes and deliver them to the banks! Wish me luck!!

i'm falling i'm falling...

2005-09-19T08:38:00.000-07:00

What happened to you You've played the victim for so long now in this game What i thought was true It's made of fiction and i'm following the same But if I try To make sense of this mess I'm in I'm not sure where I should begin I'm falling, I'm falling Now I'm in over my head, with something i said Completely misread, I'm better off dead. And now I can see, how fake you can be This hypocracy's beginning to get to me. It's none of my concern Why look to me because I don't believe in fameI guess you never heard I've met our makers They don't even know your name But if I had to say goodbye to leave this hell I'd say my time has served me well I'm falling I'm falling Now I'm in over my head, with something i said Completely misread, I'm better off dead And now I can see, how fake you can be This hypocracy's beginning to get to This came long before those who suffer more I'm too awake for this to be a nightmare What's with my disgrace I lost the human race No one plans for it to blow up in their face Who said it was easy to put back all these pieces Who said it was so easy to put back all of these pieces Now I'm in over my head, with something I said Completely misread, I'm better off dead And now I can see, how fake you can be This hypocracy's beginning to get to me Over my head, better off dead Over my head, better off deadALRIGHT! ive been lookin at lots of ppls spaces and they have stuff on that i want e.g different backgrounds that dont come with the customisation thingy lol yea im really computer illiterate...so how was every1s day???here is mine...well 1st i had science..we got this big lecture on leavin the class tidy...lol like thats gonna happen i hate her!!english next we got 2 watch shrek 2 yay considerin it took us a month 2 watch the 1st 1 cause we had 2 analysize every fricken part of it! wonder wat the supposed star wars thing in it is...well then it was interval...not as annoyed at playin cards im sorta startin 2 think thats wat my school life will be like 4ever now...maths after that got this test 2moro..last period...worth nothin except a grade point average...not even 1 flimsy credit! then art...we had 2 draw masks that was so lame!!! lunch yada yada yada...then last but not least was info management i got an xcellence on this cafe logo design we had 2 do...i just argued with him and he gave in lol...thats it lol o well its a bit of writings worth 2day... adios amigos

Llegue...

2005-09-18T13:36:00.000-07:00

Im back again, no se si estar contenta o triste, pues este lugar deprime a cualquiera despues de pasar varios dias en NY donde de verdad se goza y mas cuando estas con tu familia, pues si gente estuve en NY pero de paseo pues enrealidad estuve quedandome en CONNETICUT lejisismossss uff sufri mucho en el viajesito eh, pero nada todo valio la pena, pues estuvimos yendo a NY los tres dias que estuve y nada la pase requete bien, vi a mis padrinos y primos, mas tarde pondre las fotos que me tire por alla. Take care yall Song im listening to: Amy lee ft Seether- Broken

Music

2005-09-18T08:31:00.000-07:00

It is 10:15pm and I am sitting in my bedroom listening to my ZoeGirl Cd.Today I realized that alot of the music out there is very negative and talks about how wonderful the temporary highs of this world are. The thing is, the physical highs that we get in the world are so temporary and emotionally damaging. Something what happens when i listen to Christian music is, I get a spiritual high, and I realize how wonderful God is, and how much he has blessed me, and how he has a plan for me and how much he loves me. This spiritual high lasts longer and builds me up emotionally as opposed to pulling me down. So I think that music has a great impact on your emotions. These emotions have an affect on how you act, and the decisions you make. I think that people should consider looking over the things they are building their life on. If the only high you have is drugs or sex (or even just being physical with a g/b friend)or alcohol, then what are you living for? What is past that high? what happens when you become immune to that high? What are you searching for? With Christian music and the high God gives me, it is always satisfying and it always fills me more and more.

Detours

2005-09-17T13:33:00.000-07:00

Well it has been a crazy week to say the least. I actually feel like I have been on a Detour all week where nothing has been in my control. Surprisingly it has been one of the most enjoyable weeks I have had in a long time. My faith has been rekindled in God. For the first time in months I actually feel like I am not alone and that God really is listening to the prayers that I have made. The detours that have been placed in front of me have led me to some wonderful things that I really can't explain. What I think is so amazing is that I had to get to a place where I just let go and gave up. Once I did this all sorts of things started happening and I had no partin it except to be on the receiving end. Letting go of my controlling nature and allowing things to go with the flow has been so freeing. I have not figured it all out yet, but I think I might just have to sit back and watch the amazing things that continue to happen around me.

A drive around the county!

2005-09-17T08:39:00.000-07:00

I went to Johnstown, Newark, Granville, Utica and Homer today! I was crazy.... that's the last day I am taking off work... it is way to expensive! haha Well in Johnstown I needed gas so that I could get to Newark to get a work physical (so I can go back to work) to find that they dont do work physicals.......... ughh... So next I went to my Dr in Granville to see if they could make me a copy... and they said they couldnt get to it today, maybe tommorow.... Grrrrrrrr..... But I needed a meningitius shot and a PPD (TB Test) so I asked to get those while I was there too.... Well they dont give the meningitus, but I did get the TB test.... So far the day was not going the way I planned... Well after that I came home to eat some lunch, and I took a short nap. After I woke up I went to see Patsy in Utica to get a hair cut. I love Patsy... I always learn a lot while I am there! ;) I headed to Homer to pick up some CDs at the library after I got my hair cut! :) I love the library! :) The rest of the day was dedicated to the farm.... I picked beans with mom dad and the farm help... that stunk... Then I weighed and walked my market lambs for the fair. 18 days.... pure craziness! :) I cant wait! I washed the purple blur (as Justin refers to it) It looks a lot better, well as good as it can! haha.... that poor thing needs to be put to sleep! Britt, sorry I couldnt go see a movie with ya. I miss you a lot, but there is a lot to be done around the house... so I stayed home. Ash, I dont know how to leave comments on your page. I would, but I need you to help me! I cant wait for us and the Berg..... we will show those crazy college kids what we are all about! :) We are not goin in the river, my roomie might though! haha! Love you all... Molls

Say What?

2005-09-16T13:30:00.000-07:00

Can ya'll believe I got in trouble for this? Somebody turned me in for THIS! People, if you don't like what you see here, move on and don't come back. Unless you're one of my spaces friends and I have offended you, then by all means leave me a message and I will take care of it for you, my spaces friends only. Anyone else, just hit the road.This is art after all, and the artist name is Luis Royo if you'd like to look it up. The lettering was added by a good friend for me. I don't see how this art can be considered "inappropriate material"! Someone needs to get a grip, seriously. Ok, now that my rant is over, ya'll have yourselves a wonderful day out there in spaces world. Thanks Chasity for my newest tag. Love it. Picturedeleted so that my space will remain open

Memory the system can't address

2005-09-16T08:38:00.000-07:00

This is so frustrating. So I am thinking about going 64-bit so why not get 4GB of memory if it's not that much more? Because the chipset that support up to 4GB of memory CAN'T USE ALL OF IT. http://download.intel.com/design/chipsets/datashts/30682801.pdf yup check this out "there will be physical memory that exists yet is non-addressable and, therefore, unusable by the system. WTF???? so from my earlier entry apparently if I install 4GB of memory I will get 3.2 usable. Hmmm, not so sure it's worth it at that point...do I have to get 8GB to get what, 6GB usable??? still researching that part...

""

2005-09-15T13:32:00.000-07:00

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run

2005-09-15T12:47:00.000-07:00

why do you run? why do you hide? oh don't you know I just, just want to be with you. to be with you. looking down from above asyou watch tv wondering why your ignoring me. and do your remember? remember when I came to you. and you loved me? and I'm waiting for you, and I'm waiting for you. why do you run? why do you hide? oh don't you know I just, just want to be with you. to be with you. whatever happened to the love? the love you had for me, when you first came to me? and don't you know that I died? I died so I could be with you forever.. and I'm waiting for you, and I'm waiting for you. why do you run? why do you hide? oh don't you know I just, just want to be with you. to be with you. and find a place of solititude, and I speak to you as you pray to me. and don't you knowI'm waitinghere? waiting for you to read and hear my words. i'm waiting here missing the times, the times we shared. well, please come to me.. so. why do you run? why do you hide? oh don't you know I just, just want to be with you. to be with you. from kutless by kutless released 2002 I just think that song is awsome and the lyric sweet.

1397 miles, one tank - must be a hybrid

2005-09-14T13:36:00.000-07:00

I wonder if these guys would have gotten even better than 110 miles a gallonwithout (I assume) ethanol in their mix. After all, ethanol lowers the amount of heat stored in the fuel: [Ethanol]contains only about two-thirds as much energy as gasoline. Thus, when it gets blended with regular gasoline, it lowers the heat content of the fuel. So, while a gallon of ethanol-blended gas may cost the same as regular gasoline, it won't take you as far. [Robert Bryce, Slate] As I've blogged before, I'm glad to see more evidence of Prius fanatacism, even when it's taken to rather ludicrous extremes (driving 1400 miles in circles is hard to justify as "efficient" ;-).

me = Samed; him = Montalivet

2005-09-14T08:32:00.000-07:00

hehehe got to read pef's comment on my previous entry. ok, i did misunderstood something ^^ thanks for telling me na ka. and he saidfor some of the lessons, i got it from the 'everything is great here' view. i guess that is true, too. i was not there long enough to see everything in france. i mean 'everything', you know, the goods and bads of france. if i spend years there, i will definitely see it differently. it is like pef loves it here a lot, so do i, but there are so many things that i hate here and that he just does not see them yet. just exactly the same case. ok, this entry will not be that long. i am going to Samed tomorrow and i have not packed yet. it is 23h 43 here, in thailand, by the way. and i have to get up at 5h 45 tomorrow. so i better finish my blog quick. so... i am going to Samed. i got a chance to meet some friends on thursday... the day i got drunk, you know... and Tan just said that she wanted to go to Samed and so did i, so we agreed to go there as soon as we can. first, we would go there next week but then Nan came and she would go with us and we kinda thought that we should make it quick, you know. if you wanna do it, do it now. so we changed the date. one week sooner and here we go... the deal was made within 10 minutes. the fastest deal i have ever done. that day, we were supposed to talk about the trip to Laos (Wanyen and Pik (her gf... i think) wanna go there also but Som-O and Tor wanna go to India and we kinda persuaded one another but it just did not work that well. partly because we always got of tracks and wanyen started to get drunk. admit it, girl :p so the trip to Laos is still a big question for us if we will do it and when. umm... Pef is also going to a beach tomorrow but on a seperate trip, of course! he is going to Montalivet and gonna stay there for weeks. i am jealous already (but pef would tell me not to because beaches in thailand are better ;) so i hope we both have a good trip and we both enjoy it (and for me... hopefully, there is no rain!). and i will definitely miss him. i always do when i have a great time because i would wish him to have it with me ^^ anyway... before anyone would say 'wae... sooooo sweet', i will leave it here. still have to pack. hope it will not take long! see ya when i am back. bonne nuit

~To dO oR NoT tO Do~

2005-09-13T13:40:00.000-07:00

*~2 dO/NoT2 Do~* X = have done ( ) snuck out of the house (x) gotten lost in your city(x) seen a shooting star(x) been to any other countries besides Thailand ( ) had a serious surgery (x) gone out in public in your pajamas( ) kissed a stranger( ) hugged a stranger( ) been in a fist fight( ) been arrested( ) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose (it was banana slurpee, actually)(x) pushed all the buttons on an elevator(x) swore at your parents(x) been in love(x) been close to love( ) been to a casino( ) been skydiving (that's on my 'before i die' list)( ) skinny dipped (x) skipped school ( ) seen a therapist ( ) done the splits( ) played spin the bottle(x) gotten stitches(x) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour (x) bitten someone( ) been to Niagara Falls(x) gotten the chicken pox (x) kissed a member of the opposite sex( ) crashed into a friend's car( ) been to Japan( ) ridden in a taxi(x) been dumped( ) shoplifted( ) been fired(x) had a crush on someone of the same sex(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back( ) gone on a blind date (x) lied to a friend( ) had a crush on a teacher( ) celebrated Mardi-Gras in new Orleans( ) been to Europe( ) slept with a co-worker ( ) been married( ) gotten divorced (not yet)( ) had children (x) seen someone die( ) had a close friend die ( ) been to Africa( ) driven over 400 miles in one day ( ) been to Mexico( ) been to India (not 'till november 2006, dammit)(x) been on a plane( ) seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show( ) thrown up in a bar(x) purposely set a part of myself on fire (purposely? stupid. it's always on accident)(x) eaten sushi ( ) been skiing/snowboarding(x) met someone in person from the internet ( ) lost a child (x) gone to college/university( ) graduated college/university( ) fired a gun(x) purposely hurt yourself(x) taken painkillers(x) been intimate with someone of the same gender

Schools Out!!

2005-09-13T08:29:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone~ That's it, it's over...I'm no longer a Sophomore! Woo Hoo! It was a fun last day of school. Took some pics which are on here for everyones enjoyment. But now it's summer and summer means all out fun! My party is in 21 days and then after that it's Kry's b-day party and then it's off to Chicago baby! Well besides that not much happening here. Hope everyone has a kick-ass summer! PeAcE n LoVe!